Too many users breathing down my back ...

[Steven Bobb]

Okay, I don't know your situation but something came to mind and you can apply it if the situation fits and if not then ignore. Before that I noticed something regarding money. You gave someone money and then they didn't pay you back? Next time someone asks you for money tell them you're not the bank. It seems that some people see you as an easy mark and that is why you are targeted.

The real problem here is boundaries. When people realize you have strong boundaries they will respect you for that and won't be so pushy and demanding of your time and money.

The other thing I thought of to suggest is what is your motive behind helping people? Do you do it because you want to and not expect anything back or are you doing it because you think you have to, because you should do it, or because you are trying to present some kind of public image? I knew a person a long time ago when I was a single parent that picked me up for a ride to a Church event. She never had to pick me up but she offered to. And I am not a user. I am independent and don't like to ask for help. Anyways, she did not treat me very well and acted like I was beneath her for some reason. I was already married and divorced with a child in my early twenties and she was never married or had any children but yet because I was a single parent and without transport I was somehow inferior in her eyes. Not like I didn't pick up on her attitude of superiority and her wrong motive. She wasn't fooling me one bit. I'd rather do without than have someone help me or give to me if they really didn't want to and were doing so under obligation. Are you helping for the right reasons? If so then why the resentment? Maybe just examine yourself and your motives. If your motives are pure then work on your boundaries and using the simple word, no. You'd be surprised how such a little word makes a difference. People respect people with boundaries.

I'm not doing it for an ulterior motive,they come to me, not vice versa. I just don't like their tactics,when they want to, say, borrow money, they swear high and low they'll run it back to me on x day{part of their pleato get their request}then when the time comes,they either avoid me, or set "new dates",and have "excuses" each time. I think it's that they don't keep their word that I don't like.Plus it's happened quite a few times. PS--Normal people respect the word no. But 2 extreme cases I can give you is, I drive people, and one lady was trying to push me to take her at a certain time. I was booked, and I explained to her 5 times in arrow why I couldn't do it. When she persisted, I even threatened to block her number.THEN she temporarily backed off, but the next morning she texted me the same request!!I still turned her down, but ...Also, there was this irritating old couple who, because of their disrespect for my schedule, I actually DID block their number.So a few months later, the wife calls me from a differentnumber!!I blocked that, and a few months later, she calls me from a third number!!So not everyone respects you, they're only thinking of themselves.

 

[Evangelist Imran]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Hopeful23]

I'm not doing it for an ulterior motive,they come to me, not vice versa. I just don't like their tactics,when they want to, say, borrow money, they swear high and low they'll run it back to me on x day{part of their pleato get their request}then when the time comes,they either avoid me, or set "new dates",and have "excuses" each time. I think it's that they don't keep their word that I don't like.Plus it's happened quite a few times. PS--Normal people respect the word no. But 2 extreme cases I can give you is, I drive people, and one lady was trying to push me to take her at a certain time. I was booked, and I explained to her 5 times in arrow why I couldn't do it. When she persisted, I even threatened to block her number.THEN she temporarily backed off, but the next morning she texted me the same request!!I still turned her down, but ...Also, there was this irritating old couple who, because of their disrespect for my schedule, I actually DID block their number.So a few months later, the wife calls me from a differentnumber!!I blocked that, and a few months later, she calls me from a third number!!So not everyone respects you, they're only thinking of themselves.

Okay, I think the Devil is using these people to bother you. The Devil often uses people to bother or hurt you. This is nothing new. Happens to me all the time. I would use the broken record technique. And don't threaten to block them either. Just tell them no and then stick to it no matter what they do. This sounds like spoiled kids trying to wear you down until you give in and say yes. So in a way treat them like spoiled children. Don't give in to the demands no matter what. You can't change people but you can control what you do.

I really would advise against loaning people money. You aren't the bank. Almost everyone has a credit card and can use that in an emergency. I had one person approach me when I was leaving the grocery store for money and I said I don't have any which was the truth. But, if I had I wouldn't have given any because I sensed the person would not buy food but probably booze or drugs. You can kind of tell when someone is full of it or real. I have in the past bought a homeless person some food from Tim Horton's and gave it to them but I would never give anyone money. That would be enabling them.

And yes, there are selfish people in the world. More so now than in the past it seems. Once they finally figure out you are not budging then they will go somewhere else. The question is are you strong enough to tolerate the annoyance factor until then. This experience will help you to become stronger and develop strong boundaries.

 

[hostadmin]

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