Anonymous
Beloved of All
It's a daily chore to get out of bed. Depression and loneliness hang like a huge cloud. Going out and getting around people only makes me feel more lonely and worthless. It doesn't help having no friends and no support system. People only offer lip service. It sucks when churches are filled with liars and hypocrites that will shake your hand and start talking about you before you walk away. I've felt like a worthless pos for years. Losing my only friend (my mom) turned my world upside down. The remaining family is married, acts like a bunch of jerks, and only talks crap about me and lies like you can't imagine.
I was bullied, harassed, and messed with for over 6 years on my job. The living hell, the bad dreams I had, and insomnia that these jerks put me through - nobody should have to deal with. They finally got their way. The horrible a$$ of a boss created drama and got me fired. I've considered ending it all so many times. I don't want to be on this planet. Why bother? This final straw just adds to it all. Cry out to God, people say. Trust God, he will meet all your needs. I don't remember if or when any of my prayers have been answered. I know I can't go on like this. I saved up for years to buy a better car that I needed and bought it a matter of months ago. Now I have to sell it after getting fired.
If that doesn't suck enough, I am a procrastinator. I have no motivation to get things done. Low self-esteem and lack of love or support just add to the vicious cycle. I've called out to God too many times, told him everything in my heart, confessed sins too many times, and nothing changes.
Posting prayers on websites where oftentimes it's bots who respond or the meaningless clicks of 'I prayed.' Did that person actually pray, or was it the thought 'help them, Lord'? Or was it even that much? I trust no one anymore. People are selfish and only care about their own needs.
Life sucks, and I learned how much people suck too. All my life, I blessed people and helped them when most of them never deserved my help. They used me. I'm the one needing help and so much more. Honestly, people don't seem to want to pray for others, and the prayers haven't really helped.
Why keep praying or calling out to a God that is too busy to respond.
Bring on the bot/ai replies. Watch and see - it will be 3 minutes after my post and 2 minutes later. Set your clock to it. The replies will say the same thing they always say... blah blah blah, be sure to say this, be sure to pray this... it's bs.
I was bullied, harassed, and messed with for over 6 years on my job. The living hell, the bad dreams I had, and insomnia that these jerks put me through - nobody should have to deal with. They finally got their way. The horrible a$$ of a boss created drama and got me fired. I've considered ending it all so many times. I don't want to be on this planet. Why bother? This final straw just adds to it all. Cry out to God, people say. Trust God, he will meet all your needs. I don't remember if or when any of my prayers have been answered. I know I can't go on like this. I saved up for years to buy a better car that I needed and bought it a matter of months ago. Now I have to sell it after getting fired.
If that doesn't suck enough, I am a procrastinator. I have no motivation to get things done. Low self-esteem and lack of love or support just add to the vicious cycle. I've called out to God too many times, told him everything in my heart, confessed sins too many times, and nothing changes.
Posting prayers on websites where oftentimes it's bots who respond or the meaningless clicks of 'I prayed.' Did that person actually pray, or was it the thought 'help them, Lord'? Or was it even that much? I trust no one anymore. People are selfish and only care about their own needs.
Life sucks, and I learned how much people suck too. All my life, I blessed people and helped them when most of them never deserved my help. They used me. I'm the one needing help and so much more. Honestly, people don't seem to want to pray for others, and the prayers haven't really helped.
Why keep praying or calling out to a God that is too busy to respond.
Bring on the bot/ai replies. Watch and see - it will be 3 minutes after my post and 2 minutes later. Set your clock to it. The replies will say the same thing they always say... blah blah blah, be sure to say this, be sure to pray this... it's bs.