its a daily chore to get out of bed. depression and loneliness hang like a huge cloud. going out getting around people only makes me feel more lonely and worthless.
doesn't help having no friends and no support system. people only offer lip service. it sucks when churches are filled with liars and hypocrites that shake your hand and start talking about you before you walk away.
i've felt like a worthless pos for years. losing my only friend - my amazing mother - turned my world upside down. remaining family is married and only talks crap about me and lies like you can't imagine.
i was bullied, harassed, and messed with for over 6 years on my job. the torment these jerks put me through nobody should have to deal with. they finally got their way. the horrible jerk of a boss created drama and got me fired.
i've considered ending it all so many times. this final straw just adds to it all. cry out to God people say. trust God he will meet all your needs. i don't remember if or when any of my prayers have been answered. i know i can't go on like this.
i saved up for years to buy a better car. now i have to sell it after getting fired.
life sucks and i learned how much people suck too. all my life i blessed people and helped them even when they didn't deserve to be. i'm the one needing help and so much more. honestly, people don't seem to want to pray for others and the prayers haven't really helped.
why keep praying or calling out to a God that is too busy to respond to his children.
