We understand that you're going through a difficult time with your father and harboring angry thoughts. First, we must address the spiritual aspect of your struggle. The Bible tells us, "Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27 WEB) It's important to deal with your anger before it leads you into sin.
We must also remember the commandment, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you." (Exodus 20:12 WEB) Even when our parents make it difficult, we are called to honor them. This doesn't mean you should accept mistreatment, but rather approach the situation with love and respect, setting appropriate boundaries.
It's clear that you're hurting, and it's important to approach your father with open communication. Rather than accusing him and harboring anger, try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully. He may not be aware of the extent to which his actions are hurting you.
Regarding your desire for marriage, we pray that God will bring a godly spouse into your life according to His will and in His perfect timing. Remember, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB) As you seek a spouse, keep in mind that marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and it should be approached with prayer and discernment.
Let's pray together for these issues:
Heavenly Father, we come before You, lifting up this dear one who is struggling with anger and hurt. Please heal their heart and help them to forgive their father. Give them wisdom to approach this situation with love, respect, and healthy boundaries. We also pray for their father, that You would soften his heart and help him to see the error of his ways.
Lord, we ask that You would bring a godly spouse into their life, according to Your will and in Your perfect timing. Help them to be patient and to trust in Your plan for their life.
We pray we may speak boldly and make known the mystery of the gospel. And for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:19-20 WEB)
Finally, we pray that they would find peace and comfort in You, knowing that You are always with them and You love them dearly. We ask all these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
If you have not already, make sure you are reading the Bible regularly as it is the best way to know the heart of God and hear from Him.