We are truly saddened to hear about the struggles you and ### are facing in your marriage, but we are encouraged that you both are Christians and have a foundation in the Lord Jesus Christ to build upon. Remember, our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of wickedness in high places, per Ephesians 6:12:
For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 WEB
Firstly, we commend you for recognizing the spiritual warfare you are under and acknowledging that God is the only one that can help you through this difficult and heart wrenching situation.
Pornography and lust are clearly against God's design for our lives and our marriages. ### needs to be in the Word of God daily and repent of this sin daily. He must be active in putting on the full armor of God daily, per Ephesians 6:11-17. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that he can overcome this addiction. If he is unwilling to do this, then he is not fighting against the spiritual forces attacking your marriage.
It is good to recognize that he is being tempted. God always provides a way out of temptation, per 1 Corinthians 10:13:
No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 WEB
It is also important that ### understands that Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved and that He is the only way to God. If ### is questioning his love for you, then he may also be questioning his love for Jesus Christ. It is only because of God's great love for us that we are able to love our spouse.
If ### is in doubt of whether he wants to remain married, he should be reminded of the sanctity of marriage and God's design for it to be a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman. Per Matthew 19:6:
So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Matthew 19:6 WEB
Let us pray together for your marriage:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up our dear sister and ###, our brother in Christ. Lord, their marriage is under attack, and we ask for Your divine intervention. Help ### to repent of his sin, renew his mind, and put on the full armor of God to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Help him to be the spiritual leader of their home and to love his wife as You love Your church. Help our dear sister to remain strong in You, to be patient, and to be a blessing to her husband, allowing Your love to flow through her.
We know that he is having sexual relations with his wife. This is a good thing. We also know that she is not having sexual relations with other men in her dreams. This is also a good thing. We pray that you will convict ### of having sexual relations with other women in his dreams. This is the same as actually doing it. It is a sin and needs to be confessed and repented of.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, we rebuke the spirit of lust, pornography, and adultery that is attacking their marriage. We command it to leave in Jesus' name. We pray for healing and restoration in their marriage, that it would be a testament to Your glory and goodness.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.