My testimony: I was abused as a ...

[Brother James]

My testimony: I was abused as a child by a military man, and i was the demon in his mind that he attacked in Vietnam, I was abused in ways most people could never understand, and my mother allowed it, I forgave them. Taken away and abused in foster homes, never wanted, essentially an orphan, no one to ever help me, I forgave them. At my university my faith hit evolution head-on, I turned away for awhile, I forgave them. I sinned in different ways, even without understanding, I forgave myself, but can not stop repenting. I reached out and tried to help my brothers, the younger one raped me, I forgave him. Every friend I have ever had has turned on me and done evil to me, I forgive them I got cancer, I forgave everyone My husband was deceived by a woman and cheated on me while I was going through treatment, I forgave the woman I forgave him, and my marriage was restored. I began to repent, and have continued to repent spontaneously. I lived through a story like JOB almost everyday of my life. The church I ascribed to, I realized was a liar when they changed the Lord's Prayer. I prayed for the WORD to be written on my heart and soul so I could never be deceived. Married for 28 years, had a person kill my husband while he was going to work, I dreamed he would die in visions for weeks before he died. Wanted to kill myself without even knowing it, I stood at the edge of cliffs, and lost my balance over and over again. Grief dropped me like a tidal wave for years. Suffered through PTSD most of my life from my childhood At the time of the funeral I had strangers come up to me and tell me that the Father wanted me to be with someone else. I screamed at the Father. He sent a Rabbi to me who said that the Father said I was to be with him, he held me through those years of screaming grief. My children turned on me when I got remarried to the man the Father sent to me who looks the same, acts the same, same blood type, (identical to my dead husband in every possible way), he still held me as I cried. Even as I screamed even on my dead husband's grave. I dedicated the rest of my life to the Father, I stand next to this man in whatever comes. People in a church we came to help, stole every penny we had left, left us in a building without food or water. I was ready to die without food or water, I prayed: The Lord sent two widows each week, and each one put $5 in each of my hands. The Lord sent a woman who said her mother had said that the Spirit was telling her she had to give us food, I did not know them. We have been penniless for more than 5 years. We are very poor. I have asthma increasing and illness increasing for 5 years. I want a baby for my husband, but have been barren these years. The Father has always provided, but just enough. We have a blog dedicated to the Truth of the Word. We have sent out food and Bibles to the poor. We want to start a system to feed the poor and clothe the poor where we are. No one here cares. We want to give unto the orphans. We want to send more Bibles and do more. We continue to be attacked the more we try in all kind of ways. We are surrounded by liars and thieves. We are Kosher, We keep the whole law, and do what the WORD says. We are not perfect and we do make mistakes. We are alone, and have no family, my husband is an only child, also and his parents have long been dead, we have no family. We are alone. We follow the WHOLE LAW, Old Testament and New Testament in all things. My husband the rabbi, is the best Bible teacher I have ever seen, he was raised Orthodox, and converted to believing after his parents were killed. We give to the poor when they ask, even when we do not have much. This is my testimony. Know that each of us has battles you do not know of. These are just some of mine. There are more than this. I do not fight my cross. I welcome my cross as it draws me closer to the Father every day. If I must give all, I give all. If I must suffer, then I say thank you, for him to love me that much. We are missionaries alone, in a third world country where people are essentially soul-less, and do not have any love in their heart. They are shallow people who do not care who they step on or hurt. There are exceptions, we seek those who will listen and we help to save those the Father quickens to us. We are more than this temporary home, and this tent. Why won't you clean yourself, our time draws ever nearer. Nothing in this world matters, and this was a hard lesson for me to learn. We must, each of us, pick up our cross and bear it, whatever it is. AND overcome our cross, and still choose to love, to forgive and to choose the Lord. Excuses, Anger, Bitterness, and feeling entitled are only excuses that keep us away from our birth rite.

This is not your testimony my friend for your testimony can and will change. We have the mind and power of God/Jesus living inside of us and He is all around us. If you read my testimony I was about to end my life but I knew that I was about to meet Him face to face so I posted a prayer on this site and I opened the Bible to see if there was help one last time and I only read take no thought for your life. That was it, that was what I needed. I'm a bit of a stubborn person so I decided to end my life by not thinking about it, over and over I take no thought, I take no thought, I take no thought was all that went through my mind and my mouth. All of a sudden I noticed something, I was healed, no more pains and believe me I had pains, everything is ok. I found myself laughing and praising and thanking Jesus then I started wishing that I had known this many years ago so the Lord put it on my heart go ahead and think back and while you are thinking back take no thought for it which made and makes me realize I always knew it, always know it. I take no thought for my life past, present and future. Now I think what Jesus says about me, I am the righteousness of God in Christ, no weapon formed against me can prosper, the beasts of the field are at peace with me. I used to live like there is no tomorrow, now I live like tomorrow is Jesus and tomorrow will never end. I used to have a testimony somewhat similar to yours but now my testimony is that of Christ's power and His words of authority. I walked through a field in the dark and had a bull rise up in front of me and breathe on me, I said be at peace in Jesus and walked on later realizing I was in the middle of a herd of bulls with no fear for Christ Jesus has the final say for I am at peace with the beasts of the field through Jesus. While I might feel sad for you and your testimony that you have now I give you something of the greatest value stop thinking about your life and start living the life of Christ! You have His Word in you, use it, heal the sick, feed a thousand with a single loaf of bread and a fish, go fishing for what you need will be in the mouth of a fish, start living like you own everywhere your feet go and be blessed beyond blessed in Christ my sister! We try to walk when we can fly, we try to swim yet we can walk on the water. We have no fear if we don't think about it or especially our lives