Anonymous
Beloved of All
I've been having a hard time accepting the fact that God has allowed a waking nightmare situation to happen to me. This is not your average, bad thing, happened to me. This was a demonic nightmare that was committed against me by evil people whose twisted minds, under the influence of drugs and alcohol, came up with the most unimaginable torment on my life and my person. And my God allowed it to happen. I have been going around and around and around, for months, trying to make sense of why and how my God could allow this to happen to me. I'm not perfect. I'm the least deserved of all of God's children, but I am His child. And even if your child misbehaves, you don't hand him over to demons. I am still struggling with this. I am the one who made the decisions that brought this horror upon me. I did nothing to deserve what happened to me, but I went down a road that led me to this place of destruction. And I did it knowingly, out of God's will. I know in my head that God is perfect, but my heart is crying out, why did you allow this horrible thing. I'm in a catch 22 and I keep going around and around it but I won't surrender to the knowledge that God is perfect and righteous and He cannot do wrong. I know that, I do. I must somehow, trust God and let it all go and allow God to heal this. I need it so bad. It's destroying me in every way. I'm sorry this is long. My life is complicated right now. God bless you.