Nineteen51
Beloved of All
I've read almost every word if not every one You've written. You might not think this but You are one tough person to go through all that misery. And Your still standing. God has carried You through this far and You didn't crack. Most people would have taken some sort of way out by now. If Your feeling like everybody's scapegoat it's no wonder Your feeling doom. The small voice is them or if You want to say the devil. Your a believer and they are not. The small voice that gives You fear is not God. Get rid of the fear as Rose says. Your in a situation that asks for more faith so ask for it. Pray to the Holy Spirit and ask the Spirit to tell You what small voice is God and what small voice is not. I had my hell mostly as a child and God carried me through even though I didn't understand any of this. Your story is the hardest I've read and it's easy for me to sit here and type this. I'm not sure I could carry Your cross but God says You can do it because well You have it. Do or die isn't an option. I don't know Your family members but I'd start praying for them to be saved and/or changed because You need at least one of them to help Your cause. God is using You! You already made my problems small and they didn't change at all. There is a lot of voices You are hearing but they might be coming from the same place as the slamming doors and the blame. Pray that one of these door slammers change and use that energy to good use and help. Ask the Holy Spirit to help You discern God's voice.