Thank you for your honesty. Honesty cleanses our hearts and clears the way so that God can help us to heal and to grow.
As Christians, we realize that Jesus stated that we must submit all our requests in his name. And, so, I pray, in the name of our Lord, that you can come to be surrounded by the joyful knowledge that you are most precious to God. You are more precious than the birds of the sky and the flowers of the fields. God takes care of these. He wants to take care of you. God will never discard you. Of course, it is normal to be afraid. That is why Paul encouraged us, to match our worries with our prayers. Then we will have the peace of God. (Read Philippians 4:7)
But please know this:
What we focus on will grow. If we focus on fear, then fear will grow. When we focus on the love that God has for us, then that love will grow as a protective force over our lives. When we focus, with faith and confidence, on the peace of God, then God will bless us with peace. Once, Jesus' disciples asked that he give them more faith. We can do the same. (Read Psalm 116)
I pray that your courage and faith in God's love for you will increase...moment by moment. I pray that the joy of the Lord will be your strong hold and that you will make the choice to place your life in God's loving hands-in every aspect of your life...in Jesus' name.