I first of all understand loneliness and I know it hurts. Currently I am in a relationship that is falling apart, and i have been going through pains in my body and worry with no sleep. I prayed about this relationship 11 months ago, and invited christ into it and prayed everyday since. Now I may have to depart. It's been painful. I've had anxiety crying moments where i start falling apart and have to leave my job's office desk to hide somewhere and let it all out. It use to happen more often and then it stopped, but lately with all the hurt in this relationship, it has been coming back. So I read your prayer request and wanted you to know that I to blame my past mistakes for things I'm feeling now and when I get down and I am crying out loud, i often ask God, How long must i pay back for my younger days? Be strong and persist on, i say to myself. Focus on Christ, and do not pay attention to the waves crashing all around you. Sometimes it's hard cause fear just boils up and then we pop. It's a horrible feeling when it comes and I wish i can find my self strong again. Whole and confident, no worries. I know that in this relationship for the first time in my life, I have given 100% of my heart and honesty. So this impowers me when i speak to the Lord. I will not let the hurt drive me to live in sin, I will not let the hurt make me run to someone else to cover the pain this time. I will stick it out and suffer until I am well again. One of the things I realize I did wrong when I was crying and speaking to God was, I wanted her to love me faithfully and i wanted her to never let me down. And based upon those conditions, then I could pick the pieces of my life and get strong and succeed in the job market. The fact was I was broken when I met her and i hurt with so much pain because i was insecure and needed her love to mask my reality. I understand now that people are flawed and no one can love you unconditionally, Only God can. And so I said to myself, God wants you to run to him and no one else. He wants to be the Great Love in your life, cause he already is. He should be the anchor of my soul, not my girlfriend who I still love very much, even though she is hurting me. God is getting our attention, cause he wants us to let go and reach for him with all our heart and soul. Pain does not feel good, that's for sure, but we need to rest in it, trusting that it's medicine for our soul and persist with no stopping even if the pain returns, to know God has the best plan. Scriptures in PSALMS: Trust in me, and I will make you happy. We grab the scriptures and sometimes they sink in and then for a while the pain creeps in again. I heard a pastor on tube saying it's like a body builder who trains. He didn't just get that way overbite, it is the same way with our faith, it like exercise and food. We must train everyday and when have the hardest coldest nights and the pain is so great, please remember that something great must be going to happen! No matter how long it takes. I am with you cause I am on a journey myself today and yesterday to fight back and reach out to Jesus Christ Our lord. I pray that when you are in those moments of pain, that it will subside into tranquil silence and that you will feel the peace of God and know that he will and has forgiven you from every sin and that you will have a knowing, a sixth sense that this suffering is good and it will play itself out for the good, that God will give you the feeling of the outcome. The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen=FAITH as you prepare mentally and spiritually before and after surgery. Let Go and Trust God. it is a concentrated choice sometimes, sometimes it finally happens when were done crying and crying. Rest in the Lord, I pray that God will supernaturally heal you from the inside out. I pray that God will restore you like never before because he is an awesome God and His reach extends beyond eternity. We are just lint compared to the vastness of space and time. So if God can do anything you trust him to do. Please do not stop in prayer. I was crying by myself like crazy as i have been and I kneel still and plead and I will not stop till God listens. I love you my friend. You will be in my prayers all day and nite for now on. I realize that God should be the ANCHOR OF MY SOUL, not anyone i love or need. If i make God first in my life and him the anchor my soul, everything else will fall in place I pray. No one can anchor your SOUL except for Him. amen