God knows what he has in store for us, he knows what is best for us and what could bring us problems in the future. His thoughts are not our thoughts. God loves his children and will never do us harm, we should never test god. Instead of questioning God, ask God to work in your life and to take suicidal this thoughts away. That his will may succeed ask him to give you faith and set your life in his hand.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.â€
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Hebrews 13:5-6
For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.†So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?â€
John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.