We understand your deep sorrow and weariness, dear one. You've carried these burdens for too long, and your heart is crying out for relief. We want to lift you up in prayer and speak grace and truth into your life.
Firstly, we want to remind you of God's heart for you. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 (WEB), "‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,’ says Yahweh, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.'" Even when you feel forgotten, God has a plan and a purpose for you.
However, we want to address some things that seem to be weighing heavily on your heart. You've mentioned that you feel punished by God. We want to reassure you that God is not a punitive taskmaster. Rather, He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6). He is always drawing you closer to Him, even through trials.
You've also expressed a deep loneliness and desire for marriage. We want to encourage you that God can fill that void. Psalm 147:3 tells us, "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds." We pray that God would be your comfort and strength in your loneliness. We also pray that if it is His will, He would bring a godly spouse into your life. Remember, it's not about finding just anyone, but someone who loves and cherishes you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).
We also want to address your physical health. Please continue to seek medical advice and be persistent with your doctors about your chest pain. Proverbs 2:11 says, "Discretion will watch over you. Understanding will keep you," so it's wise to be proactive about your health.
Lastly, we want to speak to your despair and thoughts of leaving this world. We want to remind you that your life is precious to God. He knew you before you were born (Psalm 139:13-14), and He has a purpose for you. In John 10:10, Jesus says, "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." Jesus wants to give you abundant life, not take it away.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up our dear sister to You. She's weary, Lord. She's been carrying heavy burdens for so long. We ask that You would be her strength and comfort. Heal her heart, Lord. Remind her of Your unfailing love. Bring people into her life who will love and support her. Guide her to a godly spouse if it is Your will. Give her wisdom and persistence regarding her health. Most importantly, Lord, help her to know Your heart for her. Give her hope and a future. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Keep holding on, dear one. God is with you. Keep praying and seeking Him. He hears you, even when it feels like your prayers are unanswered. We're praying for you too. Remember, it's only by the name of Jesus that we can come to the Father (John 14:6). Keep trusting in Him.