i continue to intercede with all that is with-in me
foe a final confirmation tonight
i am deeply troubled yet again by the girl who i have been mentoring
for soo many years now...
i can not determine if this is simply a case of just a specific mental illness
or her own manipulation and lying and being deceitful and this hurts me
the most of all....
a professional would be the better judge then i ever could...
Father in Jesus's name
please
i do believe this friendship / mentoring / ministering has to come to an end.
it is very sad for me
and it also means i have no one to pray with by phone
or speak to............or to fellowship with.....
but when the bad seems to out weigh the good
and i only get burnt out and stressed out and sick and upset....
i do feel it is time to let go of an unhealthy relationship...
at the same time i do not wish to abandon anyone
but i know this sister in Christ has a million family and friend's
to speak to....and pray with....and fellowship with
and i am just only one person who stands alone in life....
most of my dearest friends have died
my immediate family is also deceased....
and further more...
i do not have the support system this sister in Christ does...
perhaps her professional doctor can re--assign her to someone else
that is stronger in personality then i am...
and can be more firm and hold her accountable in a firmer way
then i ever could or can...
this sister needs someone i feel....
who can stand up to her almost like a sergeant in a military boot camp
that is how difficult she is and has become at this point in time.....
FATHER GOD
IN THE NAME OF JESUS
PLEASE HELP ME MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION HERE...
TONIGHT AS I AM UPSET AGAIN
AFTER A CONVERSATION THAT WAS SIMPLY JUST A SPECIAL LITTLE TESTIMONY OF SOMETHING THE HOLY SPIRIT REVEALED TO ME SUPERNATURALLY...THIS EVENING AND IT WAS CONFIRMED...
THAT I HAD WANTED TO SHARE.....WHICH WAS A SMALL MIRACLE...
AND SHOULD HAVE THEN BECOME A TIME OF PRAYER...
BUT THEN IT TURNED INTO YET ANOTHER NEGATIVE RESPONSE
TO ME..............AND.....I SEE NO CHOICE BUT TO WALK AWAY.....
HELP ME HAVE THE STRENGTH TO CLOSE THIS DOOR.
IT WILL BE A LOSE... BUT I HAVE SOO MUCH MORE TO GAIN
WHEN GOD BRINGS SOMEONE NEW INTO MY LIFE...
IT DOES APEAR IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO....
HOLY SPIRIT.....................CONTINUE TO SPEAK TO ME.......
AGAIN I CRY OUT
PLEASE CONFIRM TO ME
BEYOND ANY SHADOW OF A DOUBT WHAT TO DO HERE.....
I LOOK TO YOU OH LORD
I LOOK TO YOU.....PLEASE...ORDER MY STEPS
HELP ME IN MY DECISION MAKING PROCESSES...
TO HAVE THE VERY MIND OF JESUS CHRIST
AND TO BE ASSURED WHEN SOMETHING MUST COME TO AN END......
LET ME BE COMPASSIONATE BUT ALSO WISE AND FAIR
LET ME BE KIND BUT ALSO FIRM IN MY CONVICTIONS
LET ME BE FORGIVING BUT ALSO KNOW WHEN A RELATIONSHIP
IS SOO DETRIMENTAL TO ME....THAT IT MUST COME TO AN END....
BECAUSE THE NEGATIVE NOW OUT WEIGHS THE GODLY AND POSITIVE...
NONE OF THIS IS EASY FOR ME....
FATHER HEAR MY PRAYERS....
IN JESUS'S NAME
AMEN...
PLEASE........DON'T DELAY HOLY SPIRIT
TO CONFRIM AND SEAL THIS DECISION
ACCORDING TO GOD'S PERFECT WILL
PLAN AND PURPOSE
FOR MY LIFE....
I LOOK TO YOU LORD JESUS
I LOOK TO YOU....
AMEN.