Psalm 139
Humble Prayer Warrior
I spent this morning with my sister. She started a conversation on my condo and said that if I lost it, I could not live with her because she had no room. She's furious with our brother because he has a 5 bedroom house and lives alone. Apparently she reached out to him to help me out. She suggested to him that I go live with him and take care of the house and him (he has multiple medical situations). She told him that my friends and she were helping and that she felt that he should be a part of my support system. He texted back and said that he was too busy with his own problems.
She didn't say it but I already know that my brother will not let me live with him. Frankly I don't want to. He beat me up many years ago and I was so scared that I urinated on my clothes. I didn't realize how angry she was with him until I saw her shake a little and tears in her eyes. My sister and brother get into it over money a lot. I stay out of it. I have tried to mediate in the past, but I just don't have the strength right now. If you read my previous posts, then you know that I am high risk for suicide and I am trying to get better.
Ok, so now I know where I stand with my siblings. I am not upset because I have known all my life that they would treat me this way. This is my reality and I must take charge of my own care. My feelings may change in a few days, but as for now, I MUST get a job and do everything I can to keep my home. I am not underwater on the condo. I have substantial equity in the condo, but I cannot access the equity to get money to help me pay off my debts until I am current on the mortgage. I MUST get a job to help me keep my home.
I am specifically asking for prayer that I get a job VERY SOON so that I can keep my condo. I am embarrassed to tell anyone else. I am more determined than ever to keep my home. Please pray that God makes a way for me to keep my condo. The condo is all I have to show for my hard work. My blood sweat and tears are wrapped up in this place and I cannot lose it. To lose it would just about kill me. Just please, please pray that I get to keep it. I am afraid that if I lose it I will have no where to go and I will end my life. Thank you everyone here. God bless you.
She didn't say it but I already know that my brother will not let me live with him. Frankly I don't want to. He beat me up many years ago and I was so scared that I urinated on my clothes. I didn't realize how angry she was with him until I saw her shake a little and tears in her eyes. My sister and brother get into it over money a lot. I stay out of it. I have tried to mediate in the past, but I just don't have the strength right now. If you read my previous posts, then you know that I am high risk for suicide and I am trying to get better.
Ok, so now I know where I stand with my siblings. I am not upset because I have known all my life that they would treat me this way. This is my reality and I must take charge of my own care. My feelings may change in a few days, but as for now, I MUST get a job and do everything I can to keep my home. I am not underwater on the condo. I have substantial equity in the condo, but I cannot access the equity to get money to help me pay off my debts until I am current on the mortgage. I MUST get a job to help me keep my home.
I am specifically asking for prayer that I get a job VERY SOON so that I can keep my condo. I am embarrassed to tell anyone else. I am more determined than ever to keep my home. Please pray that God makes a way for me to keep my condo. The condo is all I have to show for my hard work. My blood sweat and tears are wrapped up in this place and I cannot lose it. To lose it would just about kill me. Just please, please pray that I get to keep it. I am afraid that if I lose it I will have no where to go and I will end my life. Thank you everyone here. God bless you.