treeoflife
Account Closed
God, me and J. are struggling again. This marriage we're supposed to have just doesn't feel like its working sometimes. I pray to You a lot about it, Jesus, and I pray with faith in You that all of this will change. I had a lot of people look down on me and pass judgement on me because I don't bring in almost any money, and J., even though they make 4 or 5 times what I used to make at my old job, somehow is still struggling under the weight of all of our bills. It is killing our marriage - and we don't have a cent right now to our names. Relationships are built on love and trust, and not on money - but it seems like every time we go through financial hardship all the love just drains right out of the person who is supposed to love me the most. Am I really supposed to marry someone who can't have a civil conversation about the holes in our budget? One of us has to be practical about it, - but God, my fiance has begun to degrade my self-esteem in a big way since I lost my job. Aside from the blows I deal to my own self-esteem without their or anyone elses help.
God, during this time I've been praying to You in Jesus Christs name for a breakthrough for me - a change in my direction that meant a meaning to my life on earth. I can't find this, despite how hard I pray to You, and how hard I knock at the door. I am thankful for all of those things You provide for me, - each meal I take I give thanks to You, I pray with J. and have taught them about You from the Bible according to what You say is pleasing to You. I am not a perfect servant, and I sin and stumble around - I feel like life lately has been pretty dark for me but it hasn't deterred me from being loyal to You. I don't know what Your plan is for me, but right now this is very tough going, and I am asking for provision for my marriage, God. I can't do that alone, - and without You I can't do it at all. I'm a pretty helpless case at present.
Jesus, I'm asking for Your mercy. You gave me something wonderful, God - and now its going through a patch that I don't know it will survive. Why? Its my fault, - but what do I do to fix it? Right now I'm doing what I can to bring in more money, but that takes time, and our needs are in the here and now. Our cupboards are bare, our fridge is empty save for just a little. And I am being punished in this future marriage for what I feel was just poor financial planning - and the person who originally treated me with a lot of tenderness and love sometimes is very cold, - almost like a stone. Just freezes up, and gives me a deadpan look - doesn't say a word. I love this person - but sometimes I wonder where exactly they went. If it was on account of our poor financial place that the love here seems to be vanishing so fast - then I know it wasn't true love.
And God, if You don't want this marriage to be, if this is not the one you made for me to marry: Lord Jesus Christ, find me a way out of here. Right now I have no means to leave if I had to, and I have more faith than to leave. But I will go by Your word on it, Jesus - and until I feel that God doesn't want us to marry, we will be set to marry insomuch as I can help it.
God, don't set a drought on a plant that is just beginning to take root - in Jesus name. Love us and care for us - we don't have an inheritance other than You. Protect and nurture what we have, Lord. Keep evil far from us, and teach us to be forgiving so that we ourselves can be forgiven. This I ask for in Jesus Christ's name, amen.
God, during this time I've been praying to You in Jesus Christs name for a breakthrough for me - a change in my direction that meant a meaning to my life on earth. I can't find this, despite how hard I pray to You, and how hard I knock at the door. I am thankful for all of those things You provide for me, - each meal I take I give thanks to You, I pray with J. and have taught them about You from the Bible according to what You say is pleasing to You. I am not a perfect servant, and I sin and stumble around - I feel like life lately has been pretty dark for me but it hasn't deterred me from being loyal to You. I don't know what Your plan is for me, but right now this is very tough going, and I am asking for provision for my marriage, God. I can't do that alone, - and without You I can't do it at all. I'm a pretty helpless case at present.
Jesus, I'm asking for Your mercy. You gave me something wonderful, God - and now its going through a patch that I don't know it will survive. Why? Its my fault, - but what do I do to fix it? Right now I'm doing what I can to bring in more money, but that takes time, and our needs are in the here and now. Our cupboards are bare, our fridge is empty save for just a little. And I am being punished in this future marriage for what I feel was just poor financial planning - and the person who originally treated me with a lot of tenderness and love sometimes is very cold, - almost like a stone. Just freezes up, and gives me a deadpan look - doesn't say a word. I love this person - but sometimes I wonder where exactly they went. If it was on account of our poor financial place that the love here seems to be vanishing so fast - then I know it wasn't true love.
And God, if You don't want this marriage to be, if this is not the one you made for me to marry: Lord Jesus Christ, find me a way out of here. Right now I have no means to leave if I had to, and I have more faith than to leave. But I will go by Your word on it, Jesus - and until I feel that God doesn't want us to marry, we will be set to marry insomuch as I can help it.
God, don't set a drought on a plant that is just beginning to take root - in Jesus name. Love us and care for us - we don't have an inheritance other than You. Protect and nurture what we have, Lord. Keep evil far from us, and teach us to be forgiving so that we ourselves can be forgiven. This I ask for in Jesus Christ's name, amen.
