My wife is in an emotional affair with a ...

[confusedhubby]

My wife is in an emotional affair with a male friend of hers from highschool, he is married with a family also. We have been married over 17 years with a son. I pray several times a day that God put conviction in their hearts, show them both truth and reality. I know this is going on because of a gut feeling which compelled me to look at her phone and -banned site- messages when she left it laying for a few minutes. What I found made me sick as I found an 'ive always wondered' explicit message from my wife to him. She guards her phone and -banned site- account tightly, and I do not know the password. I am in agony and just want anything inappropriate to stop, asking for the right timing and information to approach him, her or both. Please pray for my wife and I and that our relationship and marriage be healed and restored. In Jesus' name

 

[Articles]

Our God of peace, you have taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength: By the might of your Spirit answer this request, we pray of you, so we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

[gymman59]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Praying4u15]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Anonymous1963]

I am sorry you are going through this. I have been where you are and where your wife is. My husband had an affair 3 years into our marriage with one of his coworkers who was living with us. Apparently she had already busted up several marriages. Talking to my husbands friends I realized that he had never been with a woman who was descent until me. As for your wife. I too have a male friend from high school whom i have never forgotten. No matter what he could and still can make me smile unlike my husband who expects me to be June Cleaver, do only what he wants to do, go only where he wants to go. We are both Christian and active in church and do for others. But emotionally and mentally is a different story. I am not accusing. Try teling your wife you love her. I never hear those words. Take on some of the responsibilities she has. Try dating her again. My friend and i reconnected at our 30 year high school reunion. I had numerous oppotunities to go run off with him but i didn't because i meant my marriage vouls. Someone shut us in a closet when we were looking for cleaning supplies. You need to figur out what draws her to him. I limit my fb use because i know my friend will be on there and want to chat. I know if i start chatting with him i wil not want to stop. I have asked God to help me with this. But I need to communication which is something my husband doesn't do with me ynless it involves his interest. Everything is all about my husband. I dont presume to know you or your situation but i am telling you what has brought me to conversation with my friend. I need to be loved by another human being. I need to hear it. I need to feel it. I need to experience it. I need to know that my thoughts and feelings matter. Once when I was going through quite an ordeal with my mother who has Alzheimers i came home to a bouquet if flowers. He didn't say the words but he said he cared. And I am not one that expects flowers or candy I like practical things like tools things to improve the home. Try something unexpected. Maybe life for her had become too routine. I am not making excuses for your wife, just giving you a perspective from someone whi has been on both sides of that fence. I pray that God will guide you to make the right decision. I love my husband and believe that we meant for each othet since we first began dating and since marrying11 years ago. Good lucj

 

[hearme]

Lord, you've said in bible that adultery is sin. I pray in name of Jesus Christ that you'd knock on they're heart . Amen.

 

[dandj]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[havefaith923]

I pray for restoration of your marriage, may GOD touch your wife's heart and you will be given a 2nd chance...I pray this in JESUS Name.  Amen

 

[confusedhubby]

Anonymous1963 -

I appreciate your insight from both sides. I am a very loving person actually. She is also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse when around 4 and was raped when 14. There is a past that I have had to continually deal with throughout our marriage. I do flowers, cards, am romantic with her, remember anniversaries and valentines, tell her I love her daily, that I think that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I am lucky to have her in my life, take her on dates, get her things I know she wants (when we can afford them), etc. I have done a lot of thinking since I found the FB messages, and have realized that if I were looking at our relationship from the outside, knowing everything, I would be the one that would statistically be suspected of cheating and being deceitful and seeking intimacy and pleasure outside of the marriage, but I have not and will not. I was told earlier this year when she started to shut-down on me (i assume when the emotional affair started but I was told and thought that she was triggered due to her past) that I do too much for her, that I am too good for her, and she is not a good wife for me. I told her that was up to me and I was proud of the wife she is and love her very much. Fast forward to recent times - no sexual relations for over 2 months now, says that is not what she wants right now, but is also during the same time that this message was sent to her friend. I am at a loss due to the fact that everything I have read, all advise I have gotten throughout my life, I have put into practice to continually show my wife how cherished and loved she is, to treat her as I believe God would want a spouse treated, but it was still not enough. Thank you for you prayers, and I will also pray that you find healing and peace in your marriage.

 

[Anonymous1963]

I must say you sound like a wonderful husband. It's difficult living with someone with an abusive past. It sounds as if you have done all you can to show your wife how much you love her. But it sounds like there is still something unresolved between her and her friend. Maybe someone from her past that knows them both can shed some light. I hope and pray that the two of you find your way back to each other. My friend lives in another state and we only saw each other at our high school reunion with other folks around.. try to keep the faith that your wife honors her vows. It was difficult for me being near my friend especially when someone shut the two of us in the closest.. I honored my vows as much as I wanted to give in I didn't. I will continue to pray for you and your wife. Maybe a marriage counselor or your pastor can help understand what is going on. Keep your faith. If I can survive a ex husband that beat me, a man who walked out on me when I wa pregnant, and an ex husband who decided after we had children that he wanted to be a woman, I have faith that you will gwt through this. In Jesus name Amen