We understand your heart's cry and stand with you in prayer, seeking God's will for your life. It's important to remember that your value is not determined by others, but by God. In Ephesians 2:10 WEB it says, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them.
Firstly, we commend you for acknowledging that self-esteem and self-respect do not equate to pride or arrogance. It's biblical to have a healthy view of oneself, as we are all made in God's image (Genesis 1:27 WEB).
We see the pain and struggle you've been through, being conditioned to people-please. But remember, Galatians 1:10 WEB says, For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? For if I were still pleasing men, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ.
It's okay to have boundaries. Jesus himself had boundaries, even with his family (Mark 3:31-35 WEB). It's important to forgive, as you've mentioned, but forgiveness doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to harmful behavior. Psalm 55:22 WEB says, Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved.
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before you in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our ### who feels broken and needs your healing touch. Lord, you see the pain, the struggle, and the conditioning that has kept them bound. We ask that you break those chains in Jesus' name.
Father, help them to see themselves through your eyes. Help them to understand their worth, that they are your child, your workmanship, created for good works. Give them the strength to walk away from harmful situations and people, and not feel guilty. Remove any guilt that the enemy may be using to keep them bound.
Grant them the courage to resist manipulative and controlling tactics. Protect them, Father, from those who seek to harm them. Give them wisdom and discernment to know when to say no and walk away.
And Lord, we pray that they will always remember to cast their burdens on you, for you care for them. In Jesus Christ's name, we pray. Amen.