Anonymous
Beloved of All
I’m afraid there is no such thing as happiness in my household. I use to rush to come home now I hate coming home. I’m happy until I enter my front door, everything is so depressed. There is no happiness in my home there is a dark cloud in my home because of my mother in law and her lies to my husband dividing us. I’m afraid all the belittling and the emotional abuse and physical abuse my husband gives me and calling fat that I are up everything in the house. I’m lazy fat and stupid All of that turned my heart empty and numb. I lost the sense of feeling in my heart. All that love I had for my husband is gone from my heart. I am serious, I guess with all the name callings, that I am stupid fat lazy. I don’t make any money every when I’m working my husband feels his the only one paying the bills. I don’t do nothing I am good for nothing. He only have sex with me as if I’m trash and roll over. My husband isn’t romantic or passionate anymore he said I drive him crazy. But in reality I think it’s his mom telling him to control me the way she wants and it’s frustrating my husband because his in the middle. Im a strong will person. My husband know I don’t put up with liars and I don’t pretend to be someone’s friend. Im loyal and I speak my mind when I know something is wrong but now I shut down. I think that’s the part my husband is frustrated about because our entire relationship I was never quiet but now I am in complete silence. Im afraid to speak my mind or talk to my husband because anything I say piss him off especially if it mention his mom. It’s sad because I thought oh we will have a good relationship since I don’t have a mom my mom passed away. I mean I use to have a good relationship with my mother in law until I Started to see her true colors and I just shutdown. I don’t tell her my business or anything anymore. When she ask me a question I just answer that’s it I don’t carry out a conversation like I use to. So my mother in law would tell my husband I don’t like her just because I don’t tell her anything about my day. I refuse because my husband will come back and yell and scream at me so my entire neighborhood hears. I don’t even know what kind of conversation I need to have with her or my husband everything I do now causes problem. So I just shut down and just go to work come home and watch Netflix. It’s sad I am afraid to clean or do anything when my husband is home because he will come and try to tell me how to do. And all I wanted is to be left alone and clean I can’t even do that without being bothered. I can’t have people come to the house for picking up things that needs to be moved my husband has to be home. I feel like a prison in my own home. I’m afraid to go anywhere, because I can feel the tension when I get back from the gym. I’m afraid the minute I get close to my house I take my time driving home. I use to be open to my husband I don’t know but I just shutdown. I find myself crying and telling myself it’s all my fault I just don’t know anymore. I’m embarrassed to ask my friends to borrow money. The last time I borrowed money from a friend when my husband and I was audit by the IRS I was told I was cheating but I have really good friends who we paid back in full. That helped us make it through the storm but my husband don’t care he acts as if he is so rich that his better than anyone. But I’m happy he makes good money and I don’t want to take that away from him good for him. All u want is to have piece at home and happiness at home and peace and love in my heart I could care less about all this materialize things as long as l am happy and someone pays it forward to my husband and kids I’m okay. And to be blessed at knowing and understanding my job well and the wisdom and knowledge to do my job really good and be good to people that’s all I want thank u
