I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, friend. Sending prayers for you, asking God to draw you closer to Himself, and comfort and guide you during this difficult time. If you need a listening ear, I believe if you call this number 855-382-5433, they can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor. Remember that our loving and compassionate Lord is a shield around you and the lifter of your head (Psalm 3:3). ((Hugs))