Anonymous
Beloved of All
Hi family. I am so grateful to have found this space. I am asking for continued prayers please as I share part of my journey with you.
I am praying to God to help me with restoration of a new found life as I heal from past child and adulthood trauma, forgiving myself for making some unwise decisions in my past, and as I strive to also forgive others genuinely and wholeheartedly. I was headed in the wrong direction in a sense. God gave me a purpose and I am walking in my purpose, but I now see how some of my past choices could have derailed the position God gave me to help others in my career. All stemming from my own childhood issues. I love what I do for a living and I am so grateful God has protected me and my career and allowed me to see the people I chose to be in relationships w/ in my past werenโt good for me. Werenโt sent by him. I hope he continues to protect me and my career purpose.
I looked inward and I see where I need to clean up my life. I work on myself daily and consciously. I have confessed my sins, repented w/ a changed mind and heart, prayed, cried (I still pray and cry sometimes expressing to God how sorry I am and feel like crap for my past sins bc I was lost in a sense and itโs like a veil was lifted).
I realized although my earthly father chose not to be in my life and my step dad was inappropriate toward me I have my Heavenly Father!!! Glory to God! Im moving forward, accepting what is and asking God to please heal me from those wounds of abandonment and betrayal. Thank God I had my grandmother who taught me about him, taught me how to pray, and kept me in church bc it helps me to go back to my core foundation. I recently started reading the bible from the beginning to understand it all for myself & dedicate more of my time with God.
But family, I still struggle with hearing God. I get discouraged sometimes and depression tries to weigh me down. I fight it daily. Everytime I make strides with getting lifted itโs like something comes to knock me down in a sense. I want to stop this spiritual warfare. Makes me feel as though itโs no point in turning to God more when I know it is smh. I struggle w/ faith. Discerning Godโs voice. Being sure I am making the right choices. Worried about my salvation. I take responsibility for my sins but I fear I may have completely failed myself. I struggle w/ forgiving myself. I feel like a failure to myself and to God for going down the wrong path when I was younger. & the depression, fear and anxiety are almost crippling at times.
Please pray for me. I long for God, an intimate relationship with him. I hope God protects me as I continue to turn away from things/people/places that are not of him. I ask God to please guide me and break the spirit of depression, fear, and anxiety. I want to live my life more like Christ and be able to rest in him and not worry so much.
Thank you to whomever reads this. I am sorry itโs long. I appreciate you all. God bless you.
I am praying to God to help me with restoration of a new found life as I heal from past child and adulthood trauma, forgiving myself for making some unwise decisions in my past, and as I strive to also forgive others genuinely and wholeheartedly. I was headed in the wrong direction in a sense. God gave me a purpose and I am walking in my purpose, but I now see how some of my past choices could have derailed the position God gave me to help others in my career. All stemming from my own childhood issues. I love what I do for a living and I am so grateful God has protected me and my career and allowed me to see the people I chose to be in relationships w/ in my past werenโt good for me. Werenโt sent by him. I hope he continues to protect me and my career purpose.
I looked inward and I see where I need to clean up my life. I work on myself daily and consciously. I have confessed my sins, repented w/ a changed mind and heart, prayed, cried (I still pray and cry sometimes expressing to God how sorry I am and feel like crap for my past sins bc I was lost in a sense and itโs like a veil was lifted).
I realized although my earthly father chose not to be in my life and my step dad was inappropriate toward me I have my Heavenly Father!!! Glory to God! Im moving forward, accepting what is and asking God to please heal me from those wounds of abandonment and betrayal. Thank God I had my grandmother who taught me about him, taught me how to pray, and kept me in church bc it helps me to go back to my core foundation. I recently started reading the bible from the beginning to understand it all for myself & dedicate more of my time with God.
But family, I still struggle with hearing God. I get discouraged sometimes and depression tries to weigh me down. I fight it daily. Everytime I make strides with getting lifted itโs like something comes to knock me down in a sense. I want to stop this spiritual warfare. Makes me feel as though itโs no point in turning to God more when I know it is smh. I struggle w/ faith. Discerning Godโs voice. Being sure I am making the right choices. Worried about my salvation. I take responsibility for my sins but I fear I may have completely failed myself. I struggle w/ forgiving myself. I feel like a failure to myself and to God for going down the wrong path when I was younger. & the depression, fear and anxiety are almost crippling at times.
Please pray for me. I long for God, an intimate relationship with him. I hope God protects me as I continue to turn away from things/people/places that are not of him. I ask God to please guide me and break the spirit of depression, fear, and anxiety. I want to live my life more like Christ and be able to rest in him and not worry so much.
Thank you to whomever reads this. I am sorry itโs long. I appreciate you all. God bless you.