Lorraine, know that you are NOT alone and your siblings in Christ have, will or are currently suffering with you over this. You WILL overcome this. There will be an outpouring of blessings over this and much more than you've asked for over the next days of the Feast of Tabernacles. I have gone through deepest despair in situations the world told me to accept and be realistic about... 'That pigs would sooner fly' than for miraculous answers to my prayers to be fulfilled. But eventually, those prayers were answered, putting the naysayers to shame and silence. I understand it helps little whilst we walk through hell. I've spent weeks deeply depressed and unable to see a way out and to my surprise, I've been delivered from the unbelief and assured doubt that immersed me. You are NOT alone; know that countless of your siblings in Christ are suffering similarly as you do. For me, it's been easier to sense this than the closeness of God. I've spent months in bed with the mustard seed of faith that God will miraculously rescue me. And to my surprise, He finally did. Until the next trial and sorrow that I hoped would never happen again. Even this week, I hid under the duvet in the depth of despair, nearly losing my faith. The answer to my prayer has not yet manifest but by reaching out, I miraculously received small pockets of support to make the trial the tiniest amount less unbearable. Hang on in there my friend. Remember your pain is just the antecedent to a joyous reward and deliverance. Satan attacks us when he knows we have something good awaiting us on the other side. If you feel in the pit, even if all you do is stay in it and do nothing, it will be overcome and God will rescue you in ways we could never imagine. I admit, I'm suffering with intense anxiety and worry but after hiding under my duvet and doing nothing, rescue from God and through Christ working through others, I've unexpectedly been restored to peace, just now. Even if worry and anxiety overwhelm me again tomorrow, I believe we're blessed if we suffer like Jesus did, the night before His crucifixion where those symptoms caused Him to sweat blood and beg for the Father to remove that cup from Him. He even doubted, like us in God and cried 'why have You forsaken me?!'. Know at least, I am with you, even if it feels like God isn't. I know and believe God has a plan for you, not for your harm, even when we experience the harm of pain and anxiety. Claim whatever respite, even temporary, that relieves you, even if it only temporarily offers respite. I love you and know that you WILL receive that life enjoyed to the full, til it overflows, that Jesus died for (John 10:10). I know it may not feel like it now and even I struggle to resonate with this often. But please don't feel like only you are going through this. Sometimes, like during heartache or despair, I remember that thousands or millions of people are in the same boat and it can relieve me a bit to feel united with all those that are currently in the same boat. I imagine that I'm in a big group of people that share my suffering and delight in knowing we're in this together. God bless you and I pray you receive comfort, joy and peace now, in Jesus's name. Remember that Satan attacks when he knows the joy awaiting us on the other side of the painful period. After periods of sorrow and pain, something wonderful ALWAYS comes straight after. You have something wonderful awaiting you after this painful period that exceeds what you could hope or imagine, even though it probably doesn't feel like it. I say this to you, myself and all that are going through this. I love you. I know that I know that I know that everything hopeful I've said here will all come to pass for you, in Jesus's name, amen. If you can't believe it, I believe for you, again in Jesus's name, amen. Lots and lots of love and Hugs from me to you. Your sister, Holly Xxxxxx