I want death

[Shabnin]

Pray today is my last day. This meal is my last meal. I hate every breath I've taken. I hate my conception. I have no drive. If I do it myself, pray I make it to heaven. I want to return to dust. I want my soul to vanish away. I want to fade to nothing. I hate life and will never want it.

 

[Shabnin]

I don't want recommendations. I don't want advice. Nothing can be said to fix anything. I want everything to end. I want to go.

 

[Articles]

We are deeply saddened to hear about the despair and hopelessness you're feeling, Shabnin. It's important to know that your life is incredibly precious and valuable to God. In Psalm 139:13-14 (WEB), it says, "For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well."

Firstly, we want to address that the desire to end one's life is not from God. God desires for us to have life and have it abundantly, as Jesus tells us in John 10:10 (WEB), "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly."

The feelings of hopelessness and despair are very real, and we want to acknowledge that. However, it's crucial to remember that these feelings do not define your worth or your future. In times like these, we encourage you to cast all your anxiety on God because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7 WEB).

Let's pray together:

"Dear Lord Jesus, we come before You with a heavy heart, lifting up Shabnin to You. Lord, we pray that You would reveal Your love and hope to Shabnin right now. Comfort their heart, ease their pain, and remind them of their incredible worth in Your eyes. Give them the strength to endure and the courage to seek help. In Your precious name, Jesus, we pray. Amen."

Shabnin, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted friend or family member to talk about these feelings. There is no shame in seeking help. Also, if you haven't already, we encourage you to invite Jesus Christ into your life. He is the ultimate source of hope and peace. As it says in Romans 10:13 (WEB), "For whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Please know that you are loved, valued, and that your life has a purpose. Hold onto the promise in Jeremiah 29:11 (WEB), "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."

 

[Shabnin]

If this is "Satan attacking", then let him win and and let me perish. I have no desire to try. I have no drive to push. I hate every fiber of my being and never once was happy to live in all the decades of my life.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here for you, Shabnin. We understand that today feels overwhelming, but please know that you're not alone. We've been where you are, feeling like life is too heavy to bear. But remember, even in the darkest nights, there's a dawn that follows. We're praying for you, that God's love and hope would wrap around you like a warm blanket. We're asking Him to remind you of your worth and purpose, even when you can't see it right now. We're believing for peace and strength to fill your heart, and for courage to reach out to someone you trust. Let's keep holding onto each other, okay? We're in this together.

 

[Shabnin]

I curse every organ in my body and every fiber of my being in Jesus name, and I speak a quick death over my life in Jesus name amen.

 

[Shabnin]

there's a dawn that follows.

There is no dawn. Only darkness. Only darkness has followed after darkness. May the dust take me speedily in Jesus name.

 

[Twigter]

If this is "Satan attacking", then let him win and and let me perish. I have no desire to try. I have no drive to push. I hate every fiber of my being and never once was happy to live in all the decades of my life.

Sweet Shabnin, I know you may not believe it right now, and believe me, I totally understand. But God loves you SO so much. I don't know what you've been through, or what you are going through currently. But believe me that I know this state of being. I've had years upon years- begging God to take me away, I couldn't take it anymore. I've been through very, very much. And He did not. I am still here. Sweet child of God, the reason you are still here breathing is because God still has a plan for you. Your life is so valuable. I pray the God of all comfort comforts you deeply. I pray you let Him. And I want to gently remind you that "spirits of suicide" exists. Those are demons. They can give very overwhelming thoughts and feelings of death , who mostly exacerbate already existent symptoms of overwhelm and that life just feels too much. I am grateful you are asking for prayer because that means that there at least is still a last straw left to live, although you may not see that yourself. I bless you with life. In Jesus name. He came to give you life, and abundantly. I pray our Loving Father shows you your imminent worth to Him. For He loved you so much He sent Jesus to die for you. He would do it all again if needed. Just to save you. You are very loved. I know how it feels if you can't receive this, and that the darkness feels too overwhelming. But I pray God shows you the spiritual nature of the suicidal thoughts and feelings and that that spirit of suicide goes in Jesus name. And then whatever else is going on on your life leading to these feelings that God the perfect Father comforts you deeply. God is close to the brokenhearted. I pray you may feel and sense His endless love for you. You matter so much. Your life matters

 

[Shabnin]

And I want to gently remind you that "spirits of suicide" exists. Those are demons.

Let them win because commanding them away does nothing

 

[Twigter]

How did you end up in this dark and hopeless place Shabnin? What happened to you that you lost all hope and drive to live? I perceive your heart has been hardened by a lot of pain, which again, I genuinely understand and sympathize with. But please give God a chance. And I pray the words I wrote earlier will still plant a seed of life in you in Jesus name. May your heart be receptive to the truth and the love of God in Jesus name.

Demons sometimes don't go if we don't stand in authority. I unfortunately know this from experience. I've had years upon years of unending demonic harassment and they did not go either if I rebuked them or tried casting them out. Now they respond though. I didn't take myself seriously back then. So they didn't either. I didn't know who I was in Christ, demons know that, and they then do not always just go.

I pray God will surround you with other Christians who can walk with you in this. Preferably those who know spiritual warfare. Because that's what you need. People who can lift you up and fight with and for you.

Let Him in Shabnin. Let Him soften your heart. Give Him a chance.

Let them win because commanding them away does nothing