i have searched and searched
until i can search no more...
both local and long distance out of state too...
it has been since 2012 when Hurricane Sandy
happened here in Long Island, New York
i have moved now 6 times since 2012
......but.....all were just temporary
to try to continue to simply keep a roof over my head
and to not be homeless....
and now i am at the point of total exhaustion
Oh God...maybe my current landlord Maria
will change her mind and accept my rent subsidy
so maybe i can just at least rest here for awhile
and take the time i need to get all better again...
in my whole life....i have moved and re-located
close to 60 times since i have been born
i can not tell you why my life has been soo unstable
in my whole living situation...
i believe alot of it has to do with me never owning a home
and just always only being able to rent places to live...
but i am soo weary
and at the point of exhaustion
and i feel soo much of my life and time
was all wasted and just a waste in trying to not be homeless
and simply survive...why God did it have to always be this way ?
i am soo deeply heart--broken and in much unrest and inner turmoil
at how this has all turned out soo far...
i have cried out to God
and prayed and prayed
until there is not much left to say
maybe there is nothing more to now say...
maybe
it is for me to just rest in Him
and trust
that He must have a plan that i am yet still not aware of....
Oh God...............please go to prepare a place for me
as you did for Joseph and Mary in Bethlehem
just before Jesus was born...
Bring me to Your Chosen Manager for me...
as there is no room left at the Inn...
FOXES HAVE HOLES
AND
BIRDS HAVE NESTS
BUT
THE SON OF MAN
HAS NOWHERE
TO LAY HIS WEARY HEAD DOWN...
i soo understand what that feels like
to just have to wander around from place to place
never feeling like i am safe at home at last
is this to always be my fate Abba--Dad--Father--God...?
i ask this of You now...always in Jesus's Name.....
{ there was something else i wished to say
...........but my mind is too unsettled and i lost my train of thought }
if i remember...i will write to all of you again
How i thank-you for your kind intercessions and prayers
i could not get thru this with out all of you...
the fear of homelessness and going thru that often torments me
and i have been homeless before too
a few times....and they were all one time too many...
and it is something that you never ever will forget...
i am soo tired
and
how i pray for just a safe quiet stable and secure home to live in
with a very compassionate and kind and understanding...
very protective and strong
and yet loving Godly man to have companionship with
who will stay faithfully by my side to share that home with....
praying together and serving You together Oh Lord...
AS JOSEPH WAS TO MARY
BE MY SHELTER FROM THE STORMS....