Joseph the private landlord changed his mind
about renting to me on Monday night...
He felt that the agency that helps me
with my rent subsidy
was way too much red tape
and too complicated....
IT IS NOT AT ALL...
and then he said to me that he did
not want to get in trouble
over a just a very simple
building and safety inspection of
the apartment he had formerly offered to rent to me....
Joseph indicated he was afraid of something...
i find this very suspect and i
have no respect for him because he left me
3 Text Message's very late Monday evening...
but did not have the common decency to pick up the phone and call me...which would have been the proper thing to have been done as a Future New Perspective Landlord...
i believe he is or was lying about something all along....because this is someone
who owns multiple properties and has
been a landlord for many many years prior
in the past....
Joseph is clearly very afraid of a very kind
government agency who simply wishes to
see a nice and safe and LEGAL Roof placed
over my head...that is all...
and they indicated to me they were willing
to assist him in any way to make this happen too....
i also truly believe now
that his rental was always illegal...
from the get go...
because that would be what he would
have reason to fear the most of all...
and so the truth finally comes out...
IN LIGHT OF THIS SURPRISE
DEVELOPEMENT....
I DO BELIEVE THAT GOD IS PROTECTING ME
FROM SOMETHING............AND......
OF THAT I HAVE NO DOUBT AT ALL....
HOWVER I AM EXTREMELY WEARY OF
THIS LONG AND DRAWN OUT SEARCH
FOR A STABLE PLACE TO LIVE...
IT HAS BEEN OVER 10 YEARS NOW
FOR ME....
AND.....
I HAVE A FEBRUARY / MARCH DEADLINE
TO GET OUT OF HERE....
AND I WALK A TIGHT ROPE CONSTANTLY
EVERY SINGLE DAY NOW...
THE STRESS AND TENSION IS BRUTAL...
THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE
IT IS A SHELL OF AN EXISTENCE
AND NOT EVEN SURVIVAL ANYMORE
IT IS SHEER TORTURE...
IT HAS BEEN
MENTAL EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
TORTURE FOR ME FOR A VERY LONG
TIME NOW....
FAR WAY TOO LONG IN MY HUMBLE
ESTIMATION TOO....
as far as Joseph is concerned
in light of this new development
i left him 2 last voice mail messages
but i will not pursue or consider this any further
unless he contacts me himself one more time
with a logical and reasonable and truthful explanation...BY PHONE...
i have zero respect for him as a person
and unfortunately i also lost who i thought
would have been and was for a little while
what appeared to be a kind friend to me...
and he even had a pet doggie named Rover
who he told me i would truly enjoy being
around and playing with too...
if this is the final answer to this prayer
then so be it in the name of The Lord
==========================
today i see a local 2 bedroom for rent...
thru a real estate broker agency....
MAY GOD'S PERFECT WILL BE DONE
AND ONLY GOD'S TRUE WILL NOW BE DONE...
FATHER I ASK THIS IN JESUS'S NAME
AMEN AND AMEN...
i got very sick on Monday night
and i was not doing much better on Tuesday which was yesterday either...
Every set back is not just a disappointment
for me...it is sheer agony and torture
and my reply to You Father God is this...
if you want me to be homeless soon
then so be it....
i have prayed and searched and tried
from here to kingdom come
in the name of Jesus
GOD
PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW ME
OR LET ME LOSS ALL FAITH
HOPE AND TRUST IN YOU...
I AM SICK
TIRED
WEARY
EXHAUSTED
DISCOURAGED
AND AT A LOSS FOR ANY MORE
PRAYER'S OR WORDS AT THIS POINT...
please pray and intercede for me
only....
as you now feel The Holy Spirit is leading
you to...
i do not know what else to do anymore
and i am finding it soo hard to even pray...
i thank all of you soo very much...
....x.o.x.o.x....