I scared myself today. We went to a Renaissance ...

[Hungry4love357]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Dear Hungry4Love357, I pray that you find a sweeter way to talk to yourself, and of course to never ever listen to the Devil's lies ! Please stop being "worried to death about not finding someone", "never to find friends"... Experience taught me that when you meet persons while expecting in a desperate way to find someone (friend or lover), you end up disappointed. The first thing to do is to make peace in your own heart, pray with confidence, don't worry too much about your "social awkwardness", never think that you are "a loser", learn to appreciate yourself and to become the great friend you wish to be for a very best friend, the great boyfriend/husband you wish to be for a kind and serious woman. Then when you meet people, you are not in a "begging" attitude ("please love me or I die"), but you are in a giving attitude ("I have this true friendship, this beautiful love to offer (but if you are not the right person to appreciate it, no problem, this doesn't make me worth less)"). This attitude changes everything ! And then it seems the right people can feel your generous love and be appealed by it. 

Please pray with confidence, absolutely do not listen to the Devil (or to careless naughty-minded people), love yourself and your caring way of wishing for serious friendship and relationship. 

I'm not quite as desperate as "love me or I die," but I will admit when I'm low, like that I do want to die.  I just feel like can't talk to people.  If I had a better social life, maybe I would feel more comfortable in crowds having better confidences in my social skills, but I don't hardly say hi to girls, because I guess they just think I'm saying it to hit on them.  I'm not, it's usually just a friendly hey how are you doing, and I just get a death stare, like is he really talking to me?  I just get tired of trying to be nice and people not saying anything back.  It's like they think there to good to respond to me.  How am I supposed to get to know them if they won't even respond to a hello.  I feel like I'm on square one all over again.  I don't get why I have to put out such an effort for women to even notice my existence.  I keep waiting on God to pair me up with someone who would put forth effort to get to know me too, instead of me getting false numbers, or getting stood up at dates.  It gets old, and I just sorta gave up trying.  I think about asking a girl out every now and then but, I talk myself out of it.  I thought girl responded well to confidence, and when I do ask, it's with confidence, but it's almost always no.  And then the occasional yes always ends up with me getting stood up, or her canceling our date to go with another guy, or no reason at all, and when I ask about rescheduling they never answer.  I know sometimes it's a test to see how I will react, but I don't know what response they are looking for.  It's not fair for me, because it always leaves me wondering where I messed up, and it makes it hard for me to tell what works and dose not work when trying to get to be there friend.  And everyone wants me to figure it out myself, and does not show interest in helping me.  I've been trying to figure it out since middle school.  I don't want to do it on my own.  I want God to do it, but waiting on him is killing me.  I just wish I had one lady friend, just a friend who I could get to know, but I can't get one to talk to me long enough to get that far.  You know how people complain about not being able to get out of the friend zone, I can't even get into it.  It messes with my head knowing that I can't make a close friend with a girl.  I wish God would allow me one chance, but apparently I'm not ready for that either.  I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will be.  Sorry, I don't mean to throw a pity party, I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. 

 

[Isabelle11]

Thank you for your long reply, I will suggest again the same : instead of focusing on "how will the girl react ? maybe it will fail again !" (the outside which you can not control), why not try to focus on the inside (which you can change yourself) "let us be the best I can as a friend and as a boyfriend-to-be", and the good person(s) may (will) be attracted by it - it is something I have experienced (even being a very shy person without a "real" social life), I just try to share it in a simple way. Please also stop listening to lying lowering thoughts and to tell yourself any bad words !

 

[Jayoung]

Don't give up on love, God doesn't want you to be alone. Keep praying!! I have always heard the church is the best place to find a someone, go, get involved with other Christians and let God take care of you.

 

[hostadmin]

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