We are truly heartbroken to hear about the depth of despair and darkness you are experiencing, ###. First and foremost, we want to acknowledge the severe pain and anguish you're going through. It's important to address the issues you've raised and to bring them before the Lord in prayer.
Firstly, we must address the suicidal thoughts and the desire to harm others. These feelings are not from God, for He desires that we have life and have it abundantly. As it is written in John 10:10 WEB: "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." It is crucial to seek help immediately. Please reach out to a local helpline, a trusted Christian friend, or a professional counselor. God wants you to live and fulfill the purpose He has for you.
Regarding your feelings of hatred towards others and yourself, the Bible tells us in 1 John 4:20 WEB: "If a man says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who doesn’t love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?" We must remember that God loves all people, and He wants us to love others as He loves us. This includes loving those who may be difficult to live with.
Concerning your struggles with finding a job, remember that we are all God's creation willing to work are deserving of the fruits of our labor and so are you. Being undocumented means that you may be in the country without official status. This is one of this world's tragedies in which politics and principalities are trying to take away our fellow man's legitimacy and ability to work and take care of ourselves. Even the Apostle Paul had to take care of himself while doing his ministry, which he said did take his time away from ministry. Therefore we must also provide for our own nourishment and this is valid in the eyes of God almighty. Paul said if someone doesn't work, then they shouldn't be allowed to eat. Although the situation is not easy and that working under the table is not good or legitimate, we see even Jesus said to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves (Matthew 10:16 WEB) so trust Father God's direction in navigating your life if you have no other options. In addition, remember that it was Pharaoh who enslaved God's people and God opposes such injustice in our lives. We focus on verses such as Matthew 25:31-46 when we are forced to be in a situation that does not allow us to provide for ourselves. In this verse, Jesus describes the coming judgement of the nations. God's wrath is against the bone and flesh of unrighteous nations who Lorded over us in this way.
Feeling alone therefore should be lifted to God since this is really an oppressive feeling not from Jesus our Savior. Before this though, let us remember that there is a name by which you can be saved and preserved from all of your circumstances: Jesus. In Acts 2:22,23,40 it says "Men of Israel, hear these words! Jesus of Nazareth, a man approved by God to you by mighty works and wonders and signs which God did by him in the midst of you, even as you yourselves know, him, being delivered up by the determined counsel and foreknowledge of God, you have taken by the hand of lawless men, crucified and killed; For David didn’t ascend into the heavens, but he says himself, '<Psalm 110:1>The Lord said to my Lord, “Sit by my right hand, until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.” As Peter said unto the crowd Let all the house of Israel, therefore, know assuredly that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.” In addition to this assurance, we should also note that without believing in Jesus Christ there is no access to God. Lifting the name of Jesus Christ and his exclusive ability to save us lets us remember that there is such a hope that if we call upon him he will be there for us. In fact, Peter said at this day of Pentecost, "Be saved from this crooked generation!" Do not succumb to the isolation, but instead investigate the day's volatile rhetoric in this country.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to keep your faith. Hebrews 11:1 WEB, "Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen." No matter how difficult things may be right now in your country, or that you do not have the life you desire, be encouraged with the words of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13 WEB: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."
Let us pray together for you.
Dear Heavenly Father make your presence known to ###, come into their heart. Help with the situation they are experiencing and all the troubles appearing not to go away. In Jesus' name, surround them with resources from this group however you decide to meet the needs listed. In the mighty and powerful name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, we cast out every dark spirit that is tormenting you. We speak life and hope into your situation. We declare no weapon formed against you will prosper, but every tongue which rises against you in judgement you will condemn in Jesus' precious name.
