I Can't Get Rid Of These Feelings Of Utter ...

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anonymous7367

Humble Servant of All
I can't get rid of these feelings of utter hopelessness and impending doom. I know what is coming. I have cried out to God for help and hope and he is just no where to be found. I want to take this loaded shot gun and blow my brains out. All I hear is that Gentle voice telling me the worst is to come. You all say God speaks in a gentle voice. The thing I'm most terrified of is the cursing, slamming doors, me being blamed, and beimg thrown out of my home because of other people's actions, being homeless alone with no transportation, no way of communication, just the clothes on my back.

I have recieved no comfort from God. I have prayed till I am blue in the face. I am so tired and so miserable. Nothing is improving. Nothing. There are no comforting words in the Bible. There is no one that will hold me and give me any comfort. God has proven there are no miracle at least not for me.

I felt myself starting to daydream yesterday about helping all these people with what I call my settlements. I quickly chastised myself, reminding myself that God did not want me to do any of it. I've prayed for over 9 years about it. You would think I would learn by now IT AIN'T GOINA HAPPEN!! I have taken in homeless families, we help people. I've worked hard to make my dreams come true. Guess what. None have.

There are a few things in my home we could sell but it will never happen as long as my husband is alive. My hands are tied. We have put one thing up for sale but have had no calls. Wouldn't matter any way because my husband has his own plans for the money that don't involve paying rhe bills. 3 1/2 years of unsuccessful endless job searches. I really don't want to go through another separation and divorce. Our neighbor told me yesterday that I had been good for my husband. Must not be too good if he isn't putting the family's needs ahead of HIS WANTS.

A miracle is the only way to fix this and God says NO you get NO help from me you are on your own.
 
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Dear anonymous7367

God wants to bless you and im sorry for your very difficult trial in your life, how can God bless you while you are living in fear? You need to cast all your burdens on Him and tell God that you can't sort out your problems unless He helps you. Nothing can happen until you become more positive, dont' let the devil keep you in despair, how is reading anything going to help you if you can't put anything into practice? You have done great things for God in helping others, that is a true sacrifice and shows that you have a really good heart, please be kinder to yourself, you are a valuable child of God and He wants you to have all that you need in your life and when you totally surrender to God, then your miracles will be received, don't let the devil steal your joy, God bless you so much, love Rose7
 
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Dear anonymous7367

God wants to bless you and im sorry for your very difficult trial in your life, how can God bless you while you are living in fear? You need to cast all your burdens on Him and tell God that you can't sort out your problems unless He helps you. Nothing can happen until you become more positive, dont' let the devil keep you in despair, how is reading anything going to help you if you can't put anything into practice? You have done great things for God in helping others, that is a true sacrifice and shows that you have a really good heart, please be kinder to yourself, you are a valuable child of God and He wants you to have all that you need in your life and when you totally surrender to God, then your miracles will be received, don't let the devil steal your joy, God bless you so much, love Rose7
Rose7:

I tried being positive and it is just one disappointment after another. I hve told God everything you said, repeatedly. I don't want to live anymore. I am tired if my life never having anything good in it. I followed God, I did what God told me and yet he allowed my children taken from me based on lies. I haven't seen my youngest so in over 8 years. He has been brainwashed against me. My daughter who is younger saw through the lies as she caught them in a big one.

I am tired of cleaning up everyone's messes. I do without necessities because the trouble makers in the family steal from me but I get blamed. My husband spends and I get blamed because the bills don't get paid when there wasn't enough to begin with. I went through this with my last husband. This husband started after we got married. Prayers have made no difference. I don't want to go through another divorce, but I don't know what to do. My husband won't discuss anything. If I bring it up am cursed and blamed for it all. There is a lot going on. I repent daily. I feel like a caged animal who is beaten every day yet left to fend for themself for everything they need.
 
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Philippians 4:6 - Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus......... Don't give up on God right before he completes his perfect work in your life.  
 
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