We are instructed of by Jesus to have joy. Joy isn't something that comes to us, joy is more so something that we declare for ourselves. We can sing Thank You, Praise You Lord Jesus for joy, I've got joy, joy, joy down in my soul. Sing it my friend.
My testimony of my desire to end my life was something that I was preparing for, something I was heading out the door to do. It wasn't something I was threatening, I was actually going to do it, end my life. Prior to heading out the door I knew I was about to be right in front of Jesus so I knew I needed to make sure I was going to be alright with Jesus so I posted a prayer and I only opened the Bible up looking for instruction one last time. I had no idea that Jesus was about to heal me in every aspect that there was and Jesus did that through my following His Instruction to take no thought for myself. Little did I know that I was going to help a great many others as well.
Try to train yourself to stop thinking about yourself no matter how you do this. For me I just began repeating I take no thought literally over and over and over again. Now I still take no thought for myself or I begin to be in pain my friend. No pain is worth thinking about especially if that pain is going to add on and add on to itself. Be dead to yourself as Christ died for you and now be only alive unto Jesus. Think Jesus thoughts my friend.