Jane17031703
Disciple of Prayer
Hi, I'm trying to get my prayer requests out there in order for more people to be praying for my situation because I'm getting desperate for God to change my marriage. My husband is not a christian, and it is getting really hard.
I was just wondering if you could really pray for me and my husband. The other night he came home (driving!!!) drunk. I was so upset because he hasn't been drunk in so long. He always turns into a different person when he is drunk, first happy, then angry. He still will not believe me. He says he only got angry that night because I aggravated him. But the truth is, when he came home I said nothing , I had already said what I thought on the phone to him how it wasn't right etc before he got home, but once he got home I chose to forgive him and say nothing. I was sad still, very sad. But I said nothing because I knew it would start an argument. He asked me what was wrong and I just burst out crying, but I still didn't say anything. After a while I told him what was wrong and I I was sad (even though he already knew because I had told him on the phone). He just started arguing the point, which caused me to continue crying. I just went on with jobs around the house, I never stopped crying though. I later went into the bedroom to see if I can spend some time with him because I hadn't seen him all day and I just wanted to be close to him, he was asleep in bed. I woke him up because I had made him tea. He started saying weird things that didn't make sense at all. I can't explain it but I asked him to get his tea and he was saying things like, 'I gave you the dimensions for the quote'. I said no I said tea, not dimensions. He would reply with yes I know and I gave you the quote! And this went on for so long, it got worse and worse. And I got really scared and tried to get him up so he would stop because it scared me seeing him like that. As he came back to it, he started yelling at me (obviously because he saw I was upset and scared). He wouldn't stop yelling and swearing at me, and I got beside myself upset, I got worse and worse, and yelled more and more. I then walked out the room, had my tea by myself, the loneliness was so deep. He later came out and had tea once it was cold, he said thank you and started hugging me.I was still crying, and he began yelling at me again, and telling me to get to F...K... bed. By this time I was in deep despair, and I was shaking and could hardly breathe. He went to bed, and I called my parents to come see me. They came even though it was the middle of the night, they supported me and stayed with me for a long time and advised me to still sleep in bed with him because he doesn't have the right to kick me out of my own bed, and I needed a good sleep. That is what I did, the next day we did not speak, I just got up, got ready for church, and left with just saying goodbye to him and a quick kiss. I stayed with my parents all day, I invited my husband to be with us, but he wouldn't. I went back and told him what happened, and that how he treated me was unacceptable. He said sorry and I chose to just forgive, and try and be as hapy as I could be.
But last night (a few days later) we talked about it because I'm so afraid that it will happen again. He told me that I aggravated him and it wasn't the alcohol. He said he wont stop drinking and I just have to be happy with it. I am so scared right now, because I know I didn't do anything wrong that night, and it is the alcohol because he gets like this (usually to a lesser degree) nearly every time he drinks. He wont trust me on this, he doesn't even believe I didn't do anything wrong to irritate him, and he doesn't remember himself when he first woke up, and he wont believe me, he said he said he is 'sitting on the fence' as to whether he believes me or not about what he did. He said he is his own person and he doesn't have to believe me. It is so frustrating, and my biggest fear is that it will happen again. He told me he wants to go to more drinking events, and he has sacrificed too much in this area for me. He is now treating me with bitterness. I don't know what to do and just feel unloved, scared, and sad that he could do this to me, I love him so much.
I just thought I'd tell you this story for he purpose of prayer. Because I know that God is the only one who can fix this and I am getting desperate for the situation to change. Nothing I can do can change this, only God can. And I know this is a bad way to feel, but I don't think my prayers alone are working, I wish I knew God would listen to just me as I am desperate for Him to work. But I think I need as many people praying as possible for a miracle to happen, for my husbands heart to be completely softened, he just needs to see God. I am worried about my husband because a few weeks ago, he said in the heat of the moment that he just wanted to die. I wonder if he is getting to the way of depression too, but is just covering a lot of feeling because he acts like he needs to have it all together.
Thank you so much for praying for me if you will, I appreciate it so much.
Jane
I was just wondering if you could really pray for me and my husband. The other night he came home (driving!!!) drunk. I was so upset because he hasn't been drunk in so long. He always turns into a different person when he is drunk, first happy, then angry. He still will not believe me. He says he only got angry that night because I aggravated him. But the truth is, when he came home I said nothing , I had already said what I thought on the phone to him how it wasn't right etc before he got home, but once he got home I chose to forgive him and say nothing. I was sad still, very sad. But I said nothing because I knew it would start an argument. He asked me what was wrong and I just burst out crying, but I still didn't say anything. After a while I told him what was wrong and I I was sad (even though he already knew because I had told him on the phone). He just started arguing the point, which caused me to continue crying. I just went on with jobs around the house, I never stopped crying though. I later went into the bedroom to see if I can spend some time with him because I hadn't seen him all day and I just wanted to be close to him, he was asleep in bed. I woke him up because I had made him tea. He started saying weird things that didn't make sense at all. I can't explain it but I asked him to get his tea and he was saying things like, 'I gave you the dimensions for the quote'. I said no I said tea, not dimensions. He would reply with yes I know and I gave you the quote! And this went on for so long, it got worse and worse. And I got really scared and tried to get him up so he would stop because it scared me seeing him like that. As he came back to it, he started yelling at me (obviously because he saw I was upset and scared). He wouldn't stop yelling and swearing at me, and I got beside myself upset, I got worse and worse, and yelled more and more. I then walked out the room, had my tea by myself, the loneliness was so deep. He later came out and had tea once it was cold, he said thank you and started hugging me.I was still crying, and he began yelling at me again, and telling me to get to F...K... bed. By this time I was in deep despair, and I was shaking and could hardly breathe. He went to bed, and I called my parents to come see me. They came even though it was the middle of the night, they supported me and stayed with me for a long time and advised me to still sleep in bed with him because he doesn't have the right to kick me out of my own bed, and I needed a good sleep. That is what I did, the next day we did not speak, I just got up, got ready for church, and left with just saying goodbye to him and a quick kiss. I stayed with my parents all day, I invited my husband to be with us, but he wouldn't. I went back and told him what happened, and that how he treated me was unacceptable. He said sorry and I chose to just forgive, and try and be as hapy as I could be.
But last night (a few days later) we talked about it because I'm so afraid that it will happen again. He told me that I aggravated him and it wasn't the alcohol. He said he wont stop drinking and I just have to be happy with it. I am so scared right now, because I know I didn't do anything wrong that night, and it is the alcohol because he gets like this (usually to a lesser degree) nearly every time he drinks. He wont trust me on this, he doesn't even believe I didn't do anything wrong to irritate him, and he doesn't remember himself when he first woke up, and he wont believe me, he said he said he is 'sitting on the fence' as to whether he believes me or not about what he did. He said he is his own person and he doesn't have to believe me. It is so frustrating, and my biggest fear is that it will happen again. He told me he wants to go to more drinking events, and he has sacrificed too much in this area for me. He is now treating me with bitterness. I don't know what to do and just feel unloved, scared, and sad that he could do this to me, I love him so much.
I just thought I'd tell you this story for he purpose of prayer. Because I know that God is the only one who can fix this and I am getting desperate for the situation to change. Nothing I can do can change this, only God can. And I know this is a bad way to feel, but I don't think my prayers alone are working, I wish I knew God would listen to just me as I am desperate for Him to work. But I think I need as many people praying as possible for a miracle to happen, for my husbands heart to be completely softened, he just needs to see God. I am worried about my husband because a few weeks ago, he said in the heat of the moment that he just wanted to die. I wonder if he is getting to the way of depression too, but is just covering a lot of feeling because he acts like he needs to have it all together.
Thank you so much for praying for me if you will, I appreciate it so much.
Jane
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