Anonymous
Beloved of All
Hello My name is ###. I'm from ###. I'm newly married woman, married since ###. It's purely arrange marriage. The problem I'm facing is with my husband (###- Sub Inspector in ### Police)) Before marriage he promised me bed of roses. For example - He promised me that we will stay together after marriage i.e., since he is sub-inspector, so he stays away from his home. He is posted in ###. He lives in rent with one of his colleague in ###. But after marriage he strictly and clearly said that I will have to stay with my in-laws whether I like it or not. When he goes to ### (at work) he never calls me, never texts me, nor does he care. I feel lonely here. I feel as if he has married me only to do households and to take care of his parents, though his parents are super active without any illness and are not that much old that they will have to be taken care of. There are many times I confronted him telling him to call me but he would argue that if I miss him I should call him first. And I am the only one who would call him daily. But once I stop calling him, he wouldn't bother. It feels as if I'm only interested in him and he isn't. We went to ### trip after marriage but he told me that he has wasted so much money on me. Therefore I never ask anything from him. He is also demanding a baby from me, If I'm not feeling loved and cared then how my child will receive love and care from his dad. ### will complete the formality of giving birth to baby and then again he wouldn't bother just like he did the formality of marriage and isn't bothered about his wife and responsibilities. It's been ### already and I don't feel love and care I used to get from him before marriage. On ###, he came back to ###, on afternoon we were chilling together. We were in drawing room, I applied oil on his hair and he too applied oil on my hair. We were giggling and laughing like a perfect couple. Though there are so many agreement disagreement between us still we were happy together. My Mother In Law was passing several times through drawing room and was staring at us with anger. The day was spent well. But since there is a saying "Evil eyes ruin the best things they see". My mother in law's evil eyes spoiled our evening. On similar evening, my husband and mother in law went to market together. Very cunningly she complained about me when they both were out. After coming back from market, it was almost dusk, mother in law started cleaning the staircase, as if to say ### doesn't do household work. I was on terrace, ### angrily came running to the terrace and started scolding me that you are here just to eat and sleep, you don't do any households. That night we had a major fight in front of my in-laws. Because this was not the first time he was blaming me for not doing works. I always tried to ignore him because I know I do all my share of works. There is a certain limit to listening to such things. But if every time he would scold me for invalid reasons, I can't stand that. At ### am midnight, he called my father, knowing that my father is a heart patient and my mother is no more(since ###). Even after knowing my father's condition, ### called him at midnight. He started complaining to my father and told him to take me back.....He told my father that what culture she has learnt from her father and mother and etc etc..... Since then We aren't talking to each other anymore. I feel hopeless that after the above incident, we wouldn't bond like early times we were bonding even after many differences. I'm afraid that he would forget me when he goes back to ### and would never want to come back to ### to meet me. I'm afraid that in ### we both will stay like strangers. I'm afraid that he might bring another woman. I want ### to love me, care for me, understand me, to motivate me, to never fall in his mother's mind trap, to support me with all his heart, to allow me to wear jeans with open mind (### and mother in law are narrow minded and I'm a girl who wore only jeans before marriage since I belong to open minded family but after marriage I'm forced to wear saree and salwar and nothing else. But since my mother in law lived in Village so she used to wear saree but after coming to ### which is town indeed, she changed her dressing sense and started wearing nighty instead.) So I want them to change their mind set and to walk according to the new generation allowing me to wear anything sober I want. I want you to pray that my mother in law will never complain about me to ### displaying her wickedness because this is damaging our relationship. Nor she should display certain gestures or actions that might provoke ###, destroying the bond ### and I share. I just want you to pray for me that I might get a government teaching job, because this is the only way I can get out of this trap. My Mother In Law told me that if I get a government job then only I can think to work outside, otherwise not. I don't have any source of income. I don't want to ask money from ### because he reminds me of how much he has wasted on me. Before marriage I was a working woman, teaching in a private school. But my mother in law told me to leave that job and told me to stay with ### in ### and join any private there itself. But after marriage my mother in law changed ###'s mind to strictly tell me to stay here in ### and not to stay with him. My mother in law is a very cunning woman. She only wants me to work like a servant in this house. She is like a sweet poison. And also want you to pray that my husband and I would share a strong bond, strong faith and strong connection that nobody even my mother in law wouldn't be able to break our bond. I want you to pray that ### and I can forgive each other and Love each other unconditionally, mutually respect and care each other and never leave each other in thick and thin, even after many ups and down that might come in our near future. Please pray that even if we fight, we would know how to resolve the matter without affecting our relationship. Since every time I take the first step to resolve issues i.e., I confront and say sorry though I'm not responsible, please pray that this time confrontation should be from ###'s side. He must realise and ask for forgiveness because even after knowing my father's medical condition, he called him on the phone at midnight for complaining about me. Pray that we may resolve the issue and stay together without any burden on our mind and heart, without any hard feelings, forgiving and forgetting. We may love to such an extent that any provocation or any manipulation from my mother in law won't affect our relationship. So that we might live the best life together.
