Nineteen51

Beloved of All
I’ve recently had a triggered emotional episode lasting an exhausting few weeks as I have had most of my nearly ### years on earth.
I’m a survivor’s child of sexual abuse by a number of perpetrators from a very young age through my teens and it has damaged me for a lifetime.
Most frustrating and heartbreaking is trying to sustain any relationship with women in the romantic sense because even if there is chemistry in the early stage of meeting someone these triggered episodes or brokenness shows in me surfaces and brings an end to any intimacy. It’s not something that can be brought to the attention of the person of interest. They just see me as someone that doesn’t match her feminine energy as manly energy. I really felt like things were progressing with someone but eventually she was probably looking for me to lead and that is a struggle. Women I most attract with no problem are usually not good for me and many have been predatory in nature.

The struggles experienced by myself as an adult of early sexual trauma have been part of my therapy but my symptoms of a distorted world view, as well as self-perception happen when I’m triggered during the initial beginnings of a relationship. I really felt like things were working with this person and still hope it might not be over. I really think opening up is too early to put on her. I really like her and really felt she was into me as well. I really don’t know how to heal from this. I pray God would speak to her heart things I can’t say. I freeze up when things get intimate. Confuses her. I think this freeze is the childhood response to being molested and the feeling of abandonment. I pray God has a plan to heal me. In Jesus name Amen
 
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I’ve recently had a triggered emotional episode lasting an exhausting few weeks as I have had most of my nearly ### years on earth.
I’m a survivor’s child sexual abuse by a number of perpetrators from a very young age through my teens and has damaged me for a lifetime.
Most frustrating and heartbreaking is trying to sustain any relationship with women in the romantic sense because even if there is chemistry in the early stage of meeting someone these triggered episodes or brokenness shows in me surfaces and brings an end to any intimacy. It’s not something that can be brought to the attention of the person of interest. They just see me as someone that doesn’t match her feminine energy as manly energy. I really felt like things were progressing with someone but eventually she was probably looking for me to lead and that is a struggle. Women I most attract with no problem are usually not good for me and many have been predatory in nature.

The struggles experienced by myself as an adult of early sexual trauma have been part of my therapy but my symptoms of a distorted world view, as well as self-perception happen when I’m triggered during the initial beginnings of a relationship. I really felt like things were working with this person and still hope it might not be over. I really think opening up is too early to put on her. I really like her and really felt she was into me as well. I really don’t know how to heal from this. I pray God would speak to her heart things I can’t say. I freeze up when things get intimate. Confuses her. I think this freeze is the childhood response to being molested and the feeling of abandonment. I pray God has a plan to heal me. In Jesus name Amen
Dear God, please bring permanent healing and beautiful intimacy with a wife! If EMDR could help please bring him a good counselor to implement EMDR! Please heal him and supply his needs! Give him courage to speak to his love interest about his past! Let the truth come to light!
In Jesus name Amen
 
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Dear God, please bring permanent healing and beautiful intimacy with a wife! If EMDR could help, please bring him a good counselor to implement EMDR! Please heal him and supply his needs! Give him courage to speak to his love interest about his past! Let the truth come to light!
In Jesus name Amen
Thank you! I did have EMDR therapy a few years back. Help when thinking about the actual abuse. I feel like the layers are many when dealing with relationships… shame, abandonment, grief, fear, loneliness, etc…

I still feel like a child emotionally at times.
 
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May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33
: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.


Let Us Pray: God I ask You in Jesus' name bless me with everything I stand in need of, and everything You want me to have. Bless me to prosper, have excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Heal me in every area of my life. God bless me with Your favor, joy, knowledge, wisdom, peace, protection, prosperity, strength, and success in all You have called me to do. And bless me to do all You have called me to do in the spirit of excellence for Your glory.

God bless me with the strength, desire, and passion to always delight myself in the Lord and seek first the kingdom of God. Bless me to know You, love You, and live my life to honor and please You. God cleansed me of everything in my life that breaks your heart. Let me be a light in this dark world, lifting You up in the lifestyle that I live. Let the world see that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord of ALL of my life. Protect me God from all the plans of the enemy of my soul. God all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who truly love me, care about me, want Your best for me, and pray Your best for me. God please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Thank You Lord Jesus. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so in Jesus' name.
Prayer was written by Encourager ###, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

You Can Do It!
 
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I’ve recently had a triggered emotional episode lasting an exhausting few weeks as I have had most of my nearly ### years on earth.
I’m a survivor’s child sexual abuse by a number of perpetrators from a very young age through my teens and has damaged me for a lifetime.
Most frustrating and heartbreaking is trying to sustain any relationship with women in the romantic sense because even if there is chemistry in the early stage of meeting someone these triggered episodes or brokenness shows in me surfaces and brings an end to any intimacy. It’s not something that can be brought to the attention of the person of interest. They just see me as someone that doesn’t match her feminine energy as manly energy. I really felt like things were progressing with someone but eventually she was probably looking for me to lead and that is a struggle. Women I most attract with no problem are usually not good for me and many have been predatory in nature.

The struggles experienced by myself as an adult of early sexual trauma have been part of my therapy but my symptoms of a distorted world view, as well as self-perception happen when I’m triggered during the initial beginnings of a relationship. I really felt like things were working with this person and still hope it might not be over. I really think opening up is too early to put on her. I really like her and really felt she was into me as well. I really don’t know how to heal from this. I pray God would speak to her heart things I can’t say. I freeze up when things get intimate. Confuses her. I think this freeze is the childhood response to being molested and the feeling of abandonment. I pray God has a plan to heal me. In Jesus name Amen
I prayed for you in Jesus mighty name Amen 🕊️
 
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