mattosan
Account Closed
my wife has decided its time to move on and she is done with our marriage,,she has made it perfectly clear she will be dating soon starting now..there was no fight just alot of tears and she says she off on her journey to find happiness...she isnt happy in life so it is time to for off with old and in with the new..i have been discarded like an on shoe..i am hurt beyond hurt..i have never felt this low in my life..she has kicked me to the curb and god as well and its off to party time..i thought god was healing this and maybe he still is, maybe she has to go through this journey to find out that her happiness isnt going to be wrapped up and waiting for her on the other side of the fence..my heart is broken and i question that god has really been leading me to stand for our marriage...with the things i thought he was showing me..i guess i read him wrong.. i think i might be holding on to hope for fear of facing reality.. i told her i love her and will miss her and will hold out as long as i can stand it to "stand" and i think god is still leading me to stand but im not sure.. im so hurt and so confused but standing is all i know..i cant just walk and it would take someone like my wife to make me change my mind..and there is only one like her and so i am stuck in this eternal state of grief,, its been 10 long hurtful months since this began and the gut ache everyday has taken its toll on me and her and my kids.. im stuck and cant go forwards and cant go back either, i love my wife and kids beyond anything in this world... ,,god if you will please dont let me continue to stand if it is not your plan...lord im so hurt and so confused, one minute i think im doing the right thing and next minute im not sure.. lord please hit me with a brick if needed but show me what YOU really want and make it so plain i cant miss it.. lord i need peace to rule my heart and i have no peace in giving up...how do i explain moms new bou to my kids...they will be crushed..lord please intervene, please god i beg of you please, please in jesus name