I am so full of regrets. I dislike my life so much. I always try to do good but nothing works out good for me whatever I do no matter how hard I try. I got a self inflicted scar at age 18. Now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I'm 40 now and I can't go back and not get that scar. I also lost my virginity at 19 I wish I never did that. I can't go back and be a virgin again. I have been celibate for almost 20 years but that cannot erase I'm not a virgin. I miss out on so many opportunities for my life to change improve and get better when I was in my 20s now I'm old it's too late. I don't even have the energy, the strength, the mental. Now I'm struggling all these years have passed no career, no husband, no car. I even struggled to get my driver's license. Got it so late in my mid 30s. I still have no car can't afford it and still scared to drive. I'm so disastified in all areas of my life. My life feels like a failure. Even if it improves the hurt in my soul is too deep. I'm suffering.