Tawgwen, we understand that you're feeling a strong intuition that something horrible might happen, and it's evident that you're carrying a heavy burden. First, we want to remind you that God is always with you, and He cares about your fears and anxieties. The Bible tells us, "Don't be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 WEB)
However, we noticed that you mentioned feeling guilty before God and accepting suffering as His will. While it's true that we all fall short of God's glory, it's important to remember that God is not a God who delights in our suffering. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins so that we might have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10 WEB). If you haven't already, we encourage you to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, repent from your sins, and trust in His redeeming grace. It's only through Jesus that we have access to God, as it is written, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 2:5 WEB)
We also want to address your mention of not knowing how to pray. Jesus taught us how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13 (WEB), "Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen." You can use this as a guide and pray from your heart, trusting that God hears you.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today to lift up Tawgwen. Lord, they feel a strong intuition that something bad is about to happen, and they are carrying a heavy burden of fear and guilt. Father, we ask that You comfort them and replace their fear with Your perfect love (1 John 4:18 WEB). Help them to trust in You and to cast all their anxieties onto You, knowing that You care for them (1 Peter 5:7 WEB).
Lord Jesus, if Tawgwen has not already accepted You as their Lord and Savior, we pray that today would be the day of salvation. Help them to understand Your love and sacrifice for them, and grant them the faith to trust in You.
Holy Spirit, guide Tawgwen in their prayers and help them to pray according to God's will. Give them the words when they feel lost and the strength to endure whatever comes their way.
In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen.
Stay strong in the Lord, Tawgwen. Trust that God is with you and that He hears your prayers. Keep seeking Him and remember that His love for you is everlasting.