Father in Jesus's name i am not living
i am just existing
We both know that...
i am tired of the fear of homelessness & everything else
that weighs on my mind day & night
i will contact Pastor Raul the superintendent & Howard the landlord/owner
one more time tomorrow morning about these promised apt's for rent
and what happens after that happens...
What concerns me is Pastor Raul did not get back to me today
and i left such beautiful voice & text messages too
For 2 to 3 weeks now i have reached out to him & still no response
with any up-date about a promised apt for rent.
Neither does Howard get back to me...
There is something not right & unfortunately i don't know what it is
unless someone tells me...and every single rental i have
applied for has fallen thru both local & out of state...
i will keep searching but unless YOU touch the heart of the right
landlord i face a very bleak housing future & i just can't live like this
anymore...i just can't...
TAKE THIS SPIRIT OF FEAR AWAY THAT IS TORMENTING ME
or take me home to You in Heaven
because life is not worth living when even just basic survival is no longer
a viable option for me & there is no relief or provision for housing...
i ask You Emmanuel...God With Us...when will this whole housing trial end ?
in Jesus's name i can't go on false hope any more
i have Faith but unanswered prayer is not helping me
i am tired of being afraid and i do not know who to trust any more
either...People give me their word and then go back on it and soo far
all housing rentals have fallen thru for me...
So Now...Having Done All I Stand.
i don't know what else to pray or to do any more.
The rest is up to You Father-God in Jesus's Name
i feel like such a failure & i am questioning everything this evening
GOD...ARE YOU THERE ?
AND WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE PLEASE...
HOLY SPIRIT PLEASE HELP ME
I CAN ONLY TAKE SOO MUCH
Send a housing miracle for i have lost faith & trust in Howard & Pastor Raul's
word to me unfortunately and i don't know what to believe any more
and where there is no communication i can only assume this is a closed door
for whatever the reasons and for whatever may have happened so far...
i have been down this rode a zillion times...
when does it end and The Miracle Housing Provision Come For Me ?
i am broken and tired and scared and i have hit a brick wall yet again...
God tell me.........where are YOU ?
Please Reply and show me what next to do...
in Jesus's name i pray with a very heavy heart...
i just feel numb & i could cry an ocean this evening...
Please don't fail me now...i can't believe anyone's word anymore...
But if YOU say something...that i CAN believe
please speak to me tonight as i continue to seek You God
in Jesus's name...
Amen.
P.S...my other concern was when i had offered Howard a deposit to hold either
apt to show good faith he would not accept it from me for either the ground floor or second floor rental...My intentions were honorable but when someone turns down
a deposit on an apt. i have to wonder if both of these rentals feel thru for some reason that i am not aware of...
PLEASE GOD CONFIRM TO ME
WITH NO SHADOW OF A DOUBT IF EITHER ONE IS STILL AVAILABLE FOR RENT. I CAN NOT WAIT ANY LONGER IF
THEY ARE NOT AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIED TO EITHER..
PLEASE REVEAL THE TRUTH NOW
IS THIS DOOR CLOSED ?
AND IF SO
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE ?
GOD I NEED YOU TO SHOW UP ON MY BEHALF AND LEAD & GUIDE ME TO THE NEXT HOUSING RENTAL POSSIBILITY THEN...HELP ME PLEASE...
I ASK THIS ALL IN JESUS'S NAME
AMEN.