Thank you, Brother James. I am so thankful for the words in this post. I have tears running down my face. This is Christian guidance I have needed to hear. All too often and for too many years I have and do take thought for my life, and just have focused on every problem and pray over them as if I am praying to put out fires constantly. I have been struggling in every area of my life since my divorce fifteen years ago and for all of these years I have spent them focused on just fighting to survive, to provide for my children and for myself. I have prayed so many prayers for help for years and things have at many times and even lately gotten worse and harder and in a few cases - life threatening for me and my children - as the enemy has been hard at work trying to kill me though anemia and also literally tried to drive all three of my children into depression and kill them. My three children are adults now - my daughter is married with two young children - she and her husband are Christian, baptized and have enrolled their children in private Christian school. But the last four years my daughter has struggled with depressive thoughts, anger and has seen demons. She is trying so hard to get the enemy out of her head and house. The enemy has also been trying to divide her and her husband. I get texts and phone calls from my daughter and son-in-law when things get bad. In 2017 my youngest son at the age of 19 tried to take his own life on three separate occasions. The Lord protected him each time - praise God! He was put on three different medications and by 2021 he had successfully weaned himself off of them and is doing much better he is 26 now, but he still has moments of social anxiety and he fears he will never be good enough or smart enough to have a good paying stable career. He still lives with me, is studying to be a pharmacy assistant, and in spite of my prayers and discussions about God, he is not a Christian. He resists any talk about Jesus and God. He uses marijuana to cope with anxiety and life. I do not approve of this at all never have - but he will not quit in spite of my prayers for his salvation and freedom from this addiction. He does receive a small income for doing work for my ex-husband which helps me not have to 100% provide for him. My other son - middle child - struggled in 2017 until 2022 with thoughts of suicide, profound insomnia, severe panic and anxiety attacks. He had mentioned to me last year that since he was twelve he had these thoughts that he was not going to live passed the age of 26 - he was convinced he would die by that age. He is now 29, engaged and is doing better although he has panic attacks at times still that feel like heart attack. He did go to church with my daughter and her family three years ago and we think he prayed and excepted Jesus as his savior - he is open to talking about God and is convinced his struggles are demonic. His girlfriend of 10 years is now his fiance. She nearly died in 2017 from a pulmonary embolism - she was on life support, survived, and was discharged 9 days later - at the hospital she is known as the pulmonary miracle - praise God! She cannot have children, however she is doing better and has even written a novel that she self published and is working on her undergraduate degree - she is not a Christian yet, but is open to talking about God and church - her mother is into mystical arts. As for myself, I have been in three unsuccessful relationships since divorce. In 2019 my son and I became homeless after fire burned down our apartment building. We lived with my parents for one year while I saved some money to buy shares into cooperative housing. We were approved and moved into that cooperative housing complex in March of 2021. Then in June of 2022 a drunken driver in a Jeep veered off the road and smashed into the living room of our townhouse. We had to move out due to the fire department rendering the townhouse uninhabitable and the cooperative had no vacancies. Again, my son and I were homeless and we moved into my older sons condo for a month until I was able to secure an apartment that allowed large breed dogs (my younger son has a labrador retriever for emotional support but we cannot get emotional support dogs registered in our country). For the last three years my son, his dog and I have been living in a tiny one bedroom apartment. My son's bedroom is the living room, there is no dishwasher, no washer/dryer. It is a very old building where the water gets shut off often to repair leaking pipes, it is located in a not safe or desirable area in our city. It is all I can afford. For years I could only get work in warehouses. Three years ago, desperately needing a change and praying for a career job that was not in a warehouse, I applied and got hired into the cancer center at our hospital as a casual with full-time hours doing Covid screening at the front door. I then got promoted to clerk III and was given a fulltime position as clerk in our counselling, psychiatry, nutritional, speech language, and spiritual health department. I was responsible for 12 providers. Management said this would be my desk and my position moving forward. Management even advocated for me to enroll in night school to become a clerk IV and the cancer center would pay for the program. I started the night school program September 2023 and I will be finished and graduate as a clerk IV October 2024. So, I have been working Monday to Friday fulltime and then go home and do schooling in the evening Monday to Friday. I began to burn out from this daily schedule and in April I asked management If I could be temporarily reassigned to the much less stressful position of check-in clerk on level 1 just until my program completed and then would happily return to the counselling department. They did not like that request apparently and six weeks ago my supervisors pulled me from the counselling department and put a newly hired clerk IV into that position and now I am being shuffled from one department to the next every day doing different tasks that I am barely trained for. It is more stressful on top of the stress of schooling than when I was clerk in the counselling department. I am grateful to the cancer center for providing for the cost of the schooling and with this clerk IV career opportunity, but I am burned out. I regret making that request because I really do love working in the counselling department. It is a very busy and stressful desk. It is just that with the addition of schooling every night I never get a break from stress. I thought that if I worked at the less stressful check-in desk I could manage working fulltime and school. Instead work is now absolute chaos and more stressful than ever. I pray to God every day asking Him why this is the life I have to walk, what is the purpose of all the struggles me, my children and their loved ones have had to go through. My husband divorced me and even though I did not fight for my marriage agreeing to the divorce, am I being punished? Are my children being punished through the actions of their parents? Why is my ex-husband allowed to flourish and live in a million dollar home, travel, spend lavishly on himself, see me struggling and do nothing. He is living in absolute sin by marrying a man after divorcing me! My kids have suffered, I have suffered. I pray to God asking why and when do I get rest and peace - when will my life be easier - will I ever realize my dream of a stable career and buying my own home. God knows I have struggled to provide for my children and myself working two jobs at times, overtime hours and double time shifts. God knows in spite of my efforts over fifteen years, I had to rely on debt to bridge the financial gaps because there was not enough money. God knows in March of last year I could no longer cope financially and ended up making the hardest decision of my life declaring bankruptcy and having my car repossessed. God knows I have to walk to work or take a taxi. God knows I was discharged from bankruptcy December 2023, yet am still fighting to get all of the debts be written off with the bankruptcy on my credit report. God knows that in February a surprise debt surfaced that was apparently incurred back in 2021. My trustee is fighting with that government department to acknowledge that that debt was incurred prior to my bankruptcy and therefore should be included in the bankruptcy and written off. I am praying for this bankruptcy to be officially over. I am praying to God to turn around my work situation to get my job back in the counselling department. I am praying for somewhere better and safer to live. I am praying for all of my children and their loved ones and myself to be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, vocationally and financially healed, protected and thriving. The last fifteen years have been so scary, hard, difficult and has really tried my faith. I am burned out and just done. All I have is that God gets me up each day to go through another day. I need my breakthrough. I will follow your words in your post and pray the prayer. I need God to turn things around soon. Thank you for your faithfulness to Christ and for helping Christians like me who are really struggling. I pray God blesses you abundantly, in Jesus name.
"Be strong and courageous...for the Lord your God goes with you" (Deut 31:6). Trusting Jesus for strength, hope, & provision for Cheutseorview's family & job. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Gal 6:9). Praying together! 
Let's lift up 
