Disciples, may you pray for me. I ...

[Nmichellen]

Disciples, may you pray for me. I am angry at myself. I want to forgive myself. My story goes like this: I am married with 3 children. I committed fornication before marriage and my husband got to know of it. Initially he wanted closure on certain information regarding my past relationship and I denied him access. I did so to protect the little dignity I had left. He kept pestering me and I gave in after a long time. He then said he will NEVER trust me and that I am a liar. At one time I said to him I can’t pray to God because I had prayed and fasted that we have love peace and joy in our house but to no avail. He said he won’t pray to me because I am a liar and I doubted God. Upto now we do not pray as a family. I plead for mercy and forgiveness from him and from God. The other issue that is troubling me is that my parents separated in 1997 when I was still in primary school, my father had another wife already. I grew up staying in the village with my father and step mother. When I reached Advanced secondary school I went to stay with my brothers in the city, they were tenants then. That is I where I met my husband. Now there was a time I was fed up with our marriage and told him I wanted out, he laughed at me saying where would you go? Meaning: there’s no place I call home. I kept quite. We made up and I stayed. Well during the tenure of our marriage we managed to build our beautiful house in the city a place I adored and called home. Recently he told me that this was not my home but rather the houses my brothers rented back then. I was hurt. This is the person who must love me and heal me of my past hurt of having divorced parents. He laughs at me, this is a person I must build a future with. Help me I am in pain. I don’t know maybe I overthink things but I hate myself for my past. How do I forgive myself? How do I make myself acceptable? Will I not end up divorcing this man like what happened to my parents? What will become of my three children?

Hi!
Jesus loves you. Jesus came for sinners like you and me. Remember Jesus came just for you. Acknowledge that you have sinned against God and that if we confess our sins He is Faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. Remember, Jesus Christ is our Husband. If He forgives you, that is great! And He has!!! Now, ask him for his forgiveness and remember he has also sinned against God, if not physically, then mentally, for, ...."if you look at a woman lustfully, you have committed adultery with her already in your heart ...." TheBible says.
Do not let ANYONE make you feel any less than the child of God that you are: You have been cleansed by the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ!!!HALLELUYIAH!!! God loves you and when He sees you, He sees Christ(It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me...the words of Paul), if you have accepted Jesus Christ in your heart (John 1)then He is your Father. He's your Everything!!!His Love is Enough , and sufficient and His Grace is Enough for you, His dear Child.
Now, you may read Dr. James Dobson's "Love must be Tough." Spouses must respect each other. You have dignity because your worth is found in Christ. Do not be afraid.God will help you to overcome all these problems.May GOd reveal the truth about him to you as well. None of us can condemn another because: There is therefore now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. "YOu believe in GOd, believe also in Me...In My Father's House are many mansions....." Jesus says to you.....
Self pity is an evil spirit. Rebuke it in Jesus'Name.
Only the Enemy wants you sad and unhappy. Jesus wants you to be filled with the fruit of the Holy Spirit. May Christ fill your heart with His JOY and Peace thst surpasses all understanding. In Jesus' Name.God bless you beloved one!