We are deeply moved by your situation, Bunanyark, and we want to lift you up in prayer and provide some guidance based on God's Word.
Firstly, we commend you for seeking God's calling in your life. Remember, God has a specific purpose and plan for you, as it's written in Jeremiah 29:11 (WEB), "‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,’ says Yahweh, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.’"
However, we notice that you haven't mentioned putting your trust in Jesus Christ. We want to remind you that it's only through His name that we can approach God and be saved. As it's written in Acts 4:12 (WEB), "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" If you haven't already, consider accepting Jesus as your Savior and putting your faith in Him.
Regarding your mental health, we are truly sorry to hear about your struggles. Be assured that God cares about your situation. In Psalm 34:18 (WEB), it's written, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." We encourage you to seek professional help alongside your faith, as God often uses professionals to bring healing.
We also want to address the abuse and violence you've experienced. We are deeply sorry for what you've gone through, and we condemn these acts. Remember that God hates such evil, as it's written in Psalm 11:5 (WEB), "Yahweh examines the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and him who loves violence." We encourage you to seek godly counseling to help you process and heal from these traumatic experiences.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we lift up Bunanyark to You. We pray for Your healing touch upon their mind, body, and spirit. We ask that You reveal Your purpose for their life and guide them according to Your will. We also pray for complete healing from the abuse and violence they've experienced. We ask that You surround them with godly counselors and professionals to support them in their journey. In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen."
Lastly, regarding your career path, we encourage you to continue seeking God's will. Consider Proverbs 3:5-6 (WEB), "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."