backsliding on smoking please pray it's killing me spiritually and physically

[Rewin]

Please pray that I manage to get back to not smoking , it was so good and made me a bit happier with my depression because I know it pleased Our Lord Jesus. Also I am having trouble with double mindedness with my bi polar. I spend all my time seeking God and I try hard to love Him and accept Him as He is but I still occassionally get evil thoughts about Him that He is a tyrant and doesn't care because He sends people to hell and because there is so much evil in the world especially for the persecuted Christians overseas. I don't want to be double minded and luke warm, He has done so much for me got me of so many drugs including heroin and given me a lot of healing with my illness of schitzophrenia, bi-polar and depression. He deserves my constant love and respect, I am trying to remember that He is soverign and we don't have to understand to trust. He gave me the most wonderful experience with the Holy Spirit last week, I was crying at the foot of the cross for 2 or 3 hours and felt really repentant, but now the doubts and the depression is creeping back in, I can't go back to feeling so dead inside it was killing my spirit i have to be on Fire for Him like He commands. Thanks so much for praying, I would never have come this far without you all. God bless. update just getting worse, brought a packet of tobacco this morning and have been smoking quite a bit, don't feel like I will ever be free and make the rapture.

I will pray for this amen