can't stand these voices i can't even tell if its the voices of my own wicked heart or the demons, im trying to worship Yashua and its so hard there is so much interference for example Im singing to Jesus - You are worthy of it all and then it gets twisted to satan is worthy of it all. cant stand this bi polar double mindedness one minute i just love Yashua so so much im overwhelmed by the cross but then something happens and I hate Him for sending people to hell including so many lukewarm Christians. HE is so strict i dont know how someone like me can ever change enough. I dont have the Holy Spirit i have no self control to stop smoking i know its killing me im getting sick with my breathing and coughing but i just cant stop. several times i have chucked my tobacco away only to buy more. I break my bankcard so i cant get any to buy, i give all my money to charity so i wont have money to buy them but i just end up buying more through borrrowing money. i know its a sin that will send me to hell but i just cant stop. when i run out i pick up butts in the street like homeless people do. if God is love why is this world so hard, its bad enough for people on CBN but what about all the persecuted Christians overseas how on earth they keep their faith i dont know. i am trying to pray but all i keep asking is please kill me Jesus and dont send me to hell. the only thing stopping me from trying to commit suicide is i know hell is real. i dont know why Jesus had to die for our sins, why couldn't God just forgive us if HE is love and not make His poor son suffer so much. If He took all our sins why am i still sinning. all day long my mind is like that just constantly judging and critising God and sometimes cursing Him out. I have been praying for a new heart diligently for a year or two but feel farther away from Him than ever, so dead inside, such a hardened heart. The only thing that helped was when I felt Jesus presence about 6 months ago, it was like that girl sings at the end of the song take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul, He.s in the waiting, at the end she sings - in the light of His presence all our questions die all our questions fade away. so much agitation especially in my legs cant even kneel down to pray. so hard hearted and double minded and Jesus is coming soon for a bride, a church that is spotless and without wrinkle. How can He be love when so much suffering i feel like im loosing my mind all over again trying to think of how its possible. sorry.
I'll tell you what I see. I see you speaking everything the devil wants you to speak BUT you have not ONCE said anything that God has declared you to be. Forget sin. Jesus dealt with sin. It has no dominion over you. Hebrew 2:14 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; 15 And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.
1John 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
The instant you were born again/saved, Holy Spirit came in and now dwells in you. You are the temple of the Living God. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. So worship the Lord by receiving the gift of righteousness. You are the righteousness of God in him (Christ), thank the Lord for his gift of righteousness, because right now, you are living under the law. There is no way we can keep the law, and for this reason Jesus came. He completely fulfilled the demands of the law and then he turned to those who believe and receive and the word says, Jesus is made unto us, wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification and redemption.
The law was given to show people that we will never measure up, but grace and truth came by Christ. So when we get born again, we are new creations and you are trying to quit smoking and you do and you do that in and of your own self. Now you can declare, I am the righteousness of God in Christ. In fact, in Colossians 2 it says, Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, he nailed to his cross, taking it out of the way.
So the truth is, in Christ Jesus, we are delivered, we are healed, we are blessed.
Father, thank you that your report is a good report and that the report of the world of bi polar is a wrong report, but this person has a sound mind, a right mind, the mind of Christ. He can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. I thank you for calling him out of darkness and translating him into the kingdom of Your dear Son. Thank you that you've forgiven all their iniquities, healed all their diseases, redeemed their life from destruction, crowning them with loving kindness and tender mercies, and you fill his mouth with good so that his youth is renewed like the eagles.
Thank you that the devil id defeated and in the name of Jesus, I bind every lie of the devil this person has believed and declare Freedom from oppression. Thank you for Your shalom. Complete in Christ, mind of Christ, righteousness of God in Christ, quickened, raise and seated with Christ in heavenly places, praise the Lord. Thank you Yahshua for redemption and freedom from the truth that we know. Amen. In Jesus name. Amen.