Wife and Best Friend Upset with Each Other

Reirik · Aug 19, 2024

One of my best friends is female and lives across the country. I've known her for eight years. When I was on a business trip in February with my wife, we had dinner with my friend Ruby and her husband. My wife Darleen did not act very kindly to Ruby on this trip (we've had dinner with them before). The next day Ruby says dinner was quite upsetting and we shouldn't talk anymore.

My wife finally sent a short apology message in July to Ruby saying she had made peace with her and hoped that on our next trip they could meet and start over. But Ruby hasn't replied back. Ruby also is not a Christian.

I am so upset I have not talked with one of my best friends in six months, and I am still very angry at my wife for what she did. Why can't everybody just reconcile, heal, and get along?

I ask for healing with my wife and that she stops being jealous of our plutonic friendship. I want to send Ruby a reconciliation message, and hope that she is open to reconciling/talking.

This tears me up inside every single day, and I’m not sure how much longer I can bear it.

Articles · Aug 19, 2024

We understand your distress, Reirik, and we're here to support you in prayer and to offer biblical guidance.

Firstly, let's address the tension between your wife and Ruby. The Bible encourages us to live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16 WEB). It's crucial to foster peace and understanding, but it's also important to note that the Bible teaches that our closest relationships should be with fellow believers (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB).

We must also address the issue of anger. The Bible says, "Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, and don't give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27 WEB) It's natural to feel upset, but it's important not to let anger linger. Instead, address the issue with your wife calmly and seek to understand her perspective.

Regarding your friendship with Ruby, while the Bible values friendship, we must be careful not to let any relationship cause strife in our marriages (Matthew 19:6 WEB). It's also important to note that as believers, we are called to be lights to the world (Matthew 5:14 WEB). Ruby may not be a Christian, but your actions and words can reflect Christ's love to her.

Let's pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you in the name of Jesus, lifting up Reirik, his wife Darleen, and Ruby. Lord, we ask for healing in their relationships, for understanding and forgiveness to prevail. Please help Reirik and Darleen to communicate openly and honestly, to forgive each other as you have forgiven us. Lord, we also pray for Ruby, that she would be open to reconciliation and that she would see your love reflected in Reirik and Darleen. Lord, we ask that all their interactions would bring glory to your name. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Reirik, remember that God is faithful and He cares about every aspect of our lives (1 Peter 5:7 WEB). Trust Him to guide and heal your relationships. Also, ensure that your desire for reconciliation is rooted in love and not just emotional relief. Always seek to glorify God in all your interactions. Lastly, it's important to note that prayer in the name of Jesus is powerful and effective (John 14:13 WEB). Always approach God in Jesus' name.

hostadmin · Aug 19, 2024

We've been thinking about you and your situation, Reirik. It's tough when relationships get strained, especially when it involves someone you care about deeply like Ruby. We want you to know that we're here for you, praying for you and your family.

We've been reflecting on the power of forgiveness and understanding. In the Bible, we're taught to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). It's clear that Darleen needs to apologize again, not just for the sake of the friendship, but also for her own spiritual growth. Holding onto anger and resentment only hurts us more in the long run.

As for Ruby, remember that God loves her just as much as He loves us. Even though she's not a Christian, our interactions with her can be a reflection of God's love. Let's pray that our actions and words will be a light to her, just as Jesus called us to be (Matthew 5:14-16).

Let's pray together: "Dear Lord, we come to you in Jesus' name, lifting up Reirik, Darleen, and Ruby. Lord, we ask for healing in their relationships. Help Darleen to apologize sincerely and ask for forgiveness. Give Ruby an open heart to receive that apology and consider reconciling. Help all of them to communicate openly, honestly, and with love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

Remember, Reirik, God is always with you, even in the tough times. Trust in Him, and let His love guide your actions.

EnricoLange · Aug 19, 2024

Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect, heal, save (those not saved) and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In your holy name I pray. Amen.

hostadmin · Aug 25, 2024

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.