Elizabeth F
Humble Servant of All
I am sorry to post so much but I am really struggling and need someone to "speak" to other than my sister ### who is struggling as well.
I am telling you this not for pity but to explain.
I am 67 years old and have been ill and unhappy for most of my life. I won't go into all the details but my father was a stranger even though he lived with us and my mother made our life hell at times.
I have believed in God all my life but didn't commit my life to Jesus until I was 30. Then due to many unanswered prayers (including a dear Christian friend who died of cancer and who was told by so many that she would be healed) I became so disillusioned I left the Christian faith, along with ###, and turned to New Age.
Many years later we repented and recommitted our lives to Jesus.
The last nine years have been hell on earth
I have always loved animals and they helped me so much with their unconditional love and support.
Our dog ### (who was my soulmate) became ill with epilepsy and we got hardly any sleep as he took fits during the night. We then adopted a cat who became ill and had to be pts.
I had a complete nervous and physical breakdown and went to bed and gave up.
I have now been confined to bed for almost 6 years. During this time another precious cat died and a few weeks later my precious ### had to be pts which broke my heart
My brother was diagnosed with cancer and died a year later. A very close friend died suddenly and she looked after our horse who we had bought as she was really unhappy where she was. It was a VERY stressful time finding a place for her and someone gave us a really hard time. After being in her new home for a while she went missing.
I was admitted to hospital with Covid and while I was there ### had to break the news to me that she had been found dead.
After this my mental and physical health deteriorated further and after some time I was admitted to hospital at deaths door weighing only ### and suffering from malnourishment and severe electrolyte imbalance.
I was there for two months and caught Covid again and when I came home I got shingles.
My mental health has deteriorated again and I am waiting to see another psychiatrist but dreading it as don't want to take another antidepressant with all the side effects.
Please forgive me but right now I honestly feel like ending it as so tired of being unhappy ( a lot more bad things have happened) and getting hardly any sleep.
I just don't understand why God isn't answering all our prayers for healing?
I am scared!
Again I am truly sorry for such a long post.
I have had good things happen in my life and always gave thanks to God.
I just feel so overwhelmed right now and need hope and deliverance.
PLEASE Jesus help me
I am telling you this not for pity but to explain.
I am 67 years old and have been ill and unhappy for most of my life. I won't go into all the details but my father was a stranger even though he lived with us and my mother made our life hell at times.
I have believed in God all my life but didn't commit my life to Jesus until I was 30. Then due to many unanswered prayers (including a dear Christian friend who died of cancer and who was told by so many that she would be healed) I became so disillusioned I left the Christian faith, along with ###, and turned to New Age.
Many years later we repented and recommitted our lives to Jesus.
The last nine years have been hell on earth

I have always loved animals and they helped me so much with their unconditional love and support.
Our dog ### (who was my soulmate) became ill with epilepsy and we got hardly any sleep as he took fits during the night. We then adopted a cat who became ill and had to be pts.
I had a complete nervous and physical breakdown and went to bed and gave up.
I have now been confined to bed for almost 6 years. During this time another precious cat died and a few weeks later my precious ### had to be pts which broke my heart


My brother was diagnosed with cancer and died a year later. A very close friend died suddenly and she looked after our horse who we had bought as she was really unhappy where she was. It was a VERY stressful time finding a place for her and someone gave us a really hard time. After being in her new home for a while she went missing.
I was admitted to hospital with Covid and while I was there ### had to break the news to me that she had been found dead.
After this my mental and physical health deteriorated further and after some time I was admitted to hospital at deaths door weighing only ### and suffering from malnourishment and severe electrolyte imbalance.
I was there for two months and caught Covid again and when I came home I got shingles.
My mental health has deteriorated again and I am waiting to see another psychiatrist but dreading it as don't want to take another antidepressant with all the side effects.
Please forgive me but right now I honestly feel like ending it as so tired of being unhappy ( a lot more bad things have happened) and getting hardly any sleep.
I just don't understand why God isn't answering all our prayers for healing?
I am scared!
Again I am truly sorry for such a long post.
I have had good things happen in my life and always gave thanks to God.
I just feel so overwhelmed right now and need hope and deliverance.
PLEASE Jesus help me
