**Prayer Group Updates!** 
Prayers for a car fix needed for 
Anonymous testifies of God’s mercy and answered prayers!
Let's pray for 
Let's lift up 
GEEK5TER
Servant of All
Have you ever heard the expression, "When it rains, it pours." Odds are you have. Well currently in my life, its a category 5 Hurricane. So that should let you know where im at. Just short of a month ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It was all started by a fight that wasn't really a big deal. After the fight I walked away. And I regret that more than anything. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made and I have to live knowing that it made all this happen. But I am trying to accept it all. And slowly but surely I am. Being with my girlfriend was amazing. We had a phenomenal relationship. One others only wish they had. We obviously had our fights but we always resolved the issues at hand quickly. I say it was a great relationship not because I want to believe it was but because it literally was. Even her son who is 14 years old knew it was something special. He told me in the time we shared that I had done more for him and his mother than any of her exes did. I didn't see it as doing much. I saw it as a good relationship and I was enjoying myself. Moving on... It seems that this one event (the breakup) has started some domino effect in my life. Now EVERYTING seems to be going badly. Not anything to lose my mind over but the simplest of things seem to go wrong. Since the break up my mother had tendinitis and had to go to the ER and urgent care 4 times in 3 days. My father went on a 6 day drinking binge. My brother and his girlfriend broke up after being together for 3 years. I got my hours cut at work. And registering for school is becoming seemingly impossible. Its very frustrating. PLUS I still miss my girlfriend! And that's the worst of it all because no matter whats going on, I find myself thinking of her.
Now, the reason I say she started this domino effect or rather I started by messing things up is because almost all these things that are going wrong are associated with her. Lets list some off.
1. Dads drinking binge. (He went on this binge because of her and my break up. I was acting out during the break up and he claims it stressed him out and he started drinking.)
2. Hours cut at work. (I requested the weekends off so I could spend them with her and her children. Since I was starting school we wanted to make sure we had time together. So instead of working 5 days a week I was gonna work four. And that was fine. BUT then I found out I couldn't go to school. So I asked for her advice. "Babe should I switch my schedule back at work?" "No babe. Keep the weekends off so we can still spend them together because they are my only days off." So what happens. Work notifies me that they don't want me working in the accounting office anymore. So instead of the four days I was planning for now I have 2. 3 if im lucky. And all this so I could be with her on the weekends)
3. My brother and his gf breaking up. The day before we broke up my brother and his girlfriend broke up. Her and I got into a fight about it because of how it happened. And that's what led to our fight that caused me to walk away.
4. Im BROKE! 6 months ago when we started seeing each other I had about 6000 In the bank saved. Now I have maybe $60. I used all my money in our short lived relationship to buy things for her. For her house. For her kids. And for us. Im not mad about the money but it is an inconvenience to me in my single life now. I bought all the groceries. I bought tons of cooking equipment. (We needed it because we were on a strict Paleo diet)
5. School is a mission! her and I decided it would be best for me to go back to school. So I took out a $1500 loan to pay a balance off so I could have my transcript released. What happens, the new school isn't accepting my old universities transcript. And now im even more in debt.
The list goes on. It really does. Im not eating healthy anymore. Im not working out. I cant sleep well. Everything reminds me of her. Today on the way home from school I saw her everywhere. I saw 3 different triple A signs in 2 mins where the middle A looked like an N. I know its a stretch but its just being thrown in my face. And I just don't get it. She is living her life like nothing ever even happened. Like I didn't exist. And I know she cares for me and to some degree misses me but she is trying so hard to act like its all good. And its not. She is such a strong woman that she can just flip that switch and be ok. I cant do that. I don't have that switch.
All in all, my life just seems to be falling apart. And the worst part is, I just want to call her and tell her about it all because that's what I would've done if we were together. But I cant even talk to her. Because now we are giving each other space because we are in that awkward stage when a couple breaks up. She wants to be friends when the time is right and so do I. But I will always want something more. I want to be wither. And solely her. No one else will come close. She changed my life in the time we were together. She helped me lose 40+ lbs and helped me get back on track. She gave me discipline and structure. And without her, that's all gone. Im always depressed now and no matter how hard I try I think of her.
I feel bad because I keep praying for her and I. I know its selfish but I want her back. GOD knows what we had. And I also feel bad because I was never a very spiritual person. I only prayed at certain times and didn't serve and practice as I should. But I can assure you if we do get back together I will pray continually. And serve as I should. And id like her to pray with me. She tells me that she prays for clarity. I pray for the same. And I hope when she finds clarity that she sees what we had. This is a tough time for me in my life. I know I should be over the relationship but with her changing my life and her kids becming very close with me, its hard to let that go. Not many people understand it but some do. Its hard.
All in all, I don't even know what to pray for anymore. Ive been taking time lately to pray for all my family and friends. And even people on this site. I enjoy praying for others and I have been doing it a lot lately. And I will continue. I just ask for you to pray for me. I need GODs touch. So does Ana. Im very lost and broken right now. And I need that to be fixed. Im over this feeling and want to be whole again. And more than anything, I want her back. So please, anyone. GOD, JESUS, other users on this site, Angels, anyone..... Pray and help me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it was long but I just had to let it out.
oh yeah, the one thing that keeps me going is I have some feeling....you could call it hope. But I have this feeling, almost a vision, that we will reunite. That one day she will call me and say, "Hey, want to come over to talk" I doubt it will happen but something inside me tells me, just wait it out. and she will come to you. I don't know. Maybe its a foolish hope. but its all I have.
Now, the reason I say she started this domino effect or rather I started by messing things up is because almost all these things that are going wrong are associated with her. Lets list some off.
1. Dads drinking binge. (He went on this binge because of her and my break up. I was acting out during the break up and he claims it stressed him out and he started drinking.)
2. Hours cut at work. (I requested the weekends off so I could spend them with her and her children. Since I was starting school we wanted to make sure we had time together. So instead of working 5 days a week I was gonna work four. And that was fine. BUT then I found out I couldn't go to school. So I asked for her advice. "Babe should I switch my schedule back at work?" "No babe. Keep the weekends off so we can still spend them together because they are my only days off." So what happens. Work notifies me that they don't want me working in the accounting office anymore. So instead of the four days I was planning for now I have 2. 3 if im lucky. And all this so I could be with her on the weekends)
3. My brother and his gf breaking up. The day before we broke up my brother and his girlfriend broke up. Her and I got into a fight about it because of how it happened. And that's what led to our fight that caused me to walk away.
4. Im BROKE! 6 months ago when we started seeing each other I had about 6000 In the bank saved. Now I have maybe $60. I used all my money in our short lived relationship to buy things for her. For her house. For her kids. And for us. Im not mad about the money but it is an inconvenience to me in my single life now. I bought all the groceries. I bought tons of cooking equipment. (We needed it because we were on a strict Paleo diet)
5. School is a mission! her and I decided it would be best for me to go back to school. So I took out a $1500 loan to pay a balance off so I could have my transcript released. What happens, the new school isn't accepting my old universities transcript. And now im even more in debt.
The list goes on. It really does. Im not eating healthy anymore. Im not working out. I cant sleep well. Everything reminds me of her. Today on the way home from school I saw her everywhere. I saw 3 different triple A signs in 2 mins where the middle A looked like an N. I know its a stretch but its just being thrown in my face. And I just don't get it. She is living her life like nothing ever even happened. Like I didn't exist. And I know she cares for me and to some degree misses me but she is trying so hard to act like its all good. And its not. She is such a strong woman that she can just flip that switch and be ok. I cant do that. I don't have that switch.
All in all, my life just seems to be falling apart. And the worst part is, I just want to call her and tell her about it all because that's what I would've done if we were together. But I cant even talk to her. Because now we are giving each other space because we are in that awkward stage when a couple breaks up. She wants to be friends when the time is right and so do I. But I will always want something more. I want to be wither. And solely her. No one else will come close. She changed my life in the time we were together. She helped me lose 40+ lbs and helped me get back on track. She gave me discipline and structure. And without her, that's all gone. Im always depressed now and no matter how hard I try I think of her.
I feel bad because I keep praying for her and I. I know its selfish but I want her back. GOD knows what we had. And I also feel bad because I was never a very spiritual person. I only prayed at certain times and didn't serve and practice as I should. But I can assure you if we do get back together I will pray continually. And serve as I should. And id like her to pray with me. She tells me that she prays for clarity. I pray for the same. And I hope when she finds clarity that she sees what we had. This is a tough time for me in my life. I know I should be over the relationship but with her changing my life and her kids becming very close with me, its hard to let that go. Not many people understand it but some do. Its hard.
All in all, I don't even know what to pray for anymore. Ive been taking time lately to pray for all my family and friends. And even people on this site. I enjoy praying for others and I have been doing it a lot lately. And I will continue. I just ask for you to pray for me. I need GODs touch. So does Ana. Im very lost and broken right now. And I need that to be fixed. Im over this feeling and want to be whole again. And more than anything, I want her back. So please, anyone. GOD, JESUS, other users on this site, Angels, anyone..... Pray and help me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it was long but I just had to let it out.
oh yeah, the one thing that keeps me going is I have some feeling....you could call it hope. But I have this feeling, almost a vision, that we will reunite. That one day she will call me and say, "Hey, want to come over to talk" I doubt it will happen but something inside me tells me, just wait it out. and she will come to you. I don't know. Maybe its a foolish hope. but its all I have.
