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What Is Your Primary Love Language?
by Dr. Gary Chapman
What is your primary love language? Here are the five love languages; choose one: Words of Affirmation, Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Which of these makes you feel most loved? One approach to discovering your primary love language is to look back over your marriage and ask, "What have I most often requested of my spouse?"
One wife said, "When I asked that question, my love language became obvious. I have requested 'Quality Time'. Over and over again, I have asked him if we could go on a picnic, take a walk together, or just cut the TV off for one hour and talk with each other. I have felt neglected and unloved because seldom did he ever respond to my request."
Later she said, "Dr. Chapman, during your seminar, the lights came on for both of us. My husband apologized for being so resistant to my requests. I think things will be different in the future." And they were. What is your primary love language?
Content is based on the book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Northfield Publishers. $12.49
Married to a Workaholic?Desperate Marriages
by Dr. Gary Chapman
So you are married to a workaholic! Always busy, but seldom satisfied. Enough is never enough. The sun shines bright on another opportunity, and he must seize it before dark.
Is there a way to wake him up to the reality that he is married and has a wife and children who want to know him, to spend time with him, to enjoy life together? I believe there is. It's called shock therapy. It doesn't require the services of a psychiatrist, but it does require a bold step.
One lady asked her husband if she could show him her dream home one Sunday afternoon. He reluctantly agreed and she drove him to a luxury rest home. As they got out of the car she explained that if they moved here, they could play golf together, sit under a shade tree and read a book or make love. They could even walk a wooded trail alone. He was totally confused until she said: "I don't know about you, but I don't want to wait until old age to enjoy life."
He got the picture and after a tearful conversation, he agreed to make time for her and the children. Shock therapy just might work for you, too.
Content taken from Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers. $12.49
The Power of Gifts
by Dr. Gary Chapman
Years ago, while completing a Masters degree in Anthropology, I visited by means of detailed ethnographies fascinating peoples all over the world. I went to Central America and studied the advanced cultures of the Mayans and the Aztecs. I crossed the Pacific and studied the tribal peoples of Melanesia and Polynesia. I studied the Eskimos of the northern tundra and the aboriginal Ainus of Japan. I examined the cultural patterns surrounding love and marriage and found that in every culture I studied, gift giving was a part of the love-marriage process.
Anthropologists are enamored by cultural patterns that tend to pervade cultures, and so was I. I concluded that gift giving is a fundamental expression of love that transcends cultural barriers.
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking about me." "He loves me." Have you given your spouse a gift lately?
Gifts are visual symbols of love. Most wedding ceremonies include the giving and receiving of rings. The person performing the ceremony says, "These rings are outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual bond that unites your two hearts in love that has no end." That is not meaningless rhetoric. It is verbalizing a significant truth - symbols have emotional value.
Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others. That's why when you give a gift to some people, they are greatly moved emotionally. They say "Oh, I can't believe you did this for me. You are so thoughtful." You may even see their eyes moisten with a tear. For this person receiving a gift is their "primary love language." It speaks more deeply than words or acts of service.
Without gifts, they may even question your love. If gifts is your spouse's primary love language, nothing is more important emotionally than giving them a gift. And nothing more painful than having the anniversary pass with no gift.
Content is based on the book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Northfield Publishers. $12.49
Praise, Not Criticism Desperate Marriages
by Dr. Gary Chapman
The workaholic is usually well respected in the community and often receives accolades from his employer. On the other hand, his wife seldom views him as Mr. Wonderful. She is likely critical of him because he invests so little in their relationship and is so uninvolved in the lives of the children.
Her criticism is part of the problem. Oh, I understand why she is critical. She is sick and tired of being a single parent. His "wonderful job" is a source of great irritation to her. But when she criticizes him, or his job, she is criticizing the one thing in life that brings him recognition. Her criticism strikes at the heart of his self-esteem, and he fights back. That is why they often have arguments.
Let me suggest a better approach. Stop being critical of his work. Praise him when he receives awards at work. Become his greatest fan. Give the accolades freely. Then request that he do something with you and the children. When he does, and he will, then give him praise. Don't say, "It was about time you gave us some time." Praise him for little and you will get more.
Content taken from Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers. $12.49
by Dr. Gary Chapman
What is your primary love language? Here are the five love languages; choose one: Words of Affirmation, Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Which of these makes you feel most loved? One approach to discovering your primary love language is to look back over your marriage and ask, "What have I most often requested of my spouse?"
One wife said, "When I asked that question, my love language became obvious. I have requested 'Quality Time'. Over and over again, I have asked him if we could go on a picnic, take a walk together, or just cut the TV off for one hour and talk with each other. I have felt neglected and unloved because seldom did he ever respond to my request."
Later she said, "Dr. Chapman, during your seminar, the lights came on for both of us. My husband apologized for being so resistant to my requests. I think things will be different in the future." And they were. What is your primary love language?
Content is based on the book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Northfield Publishers. $12.49
Married to a Workaholic?Desperate Marriages
by Dr. Gary Chapman
So you are married to a workaholic! Always busy, but seldom satisfied. Enough is never enough. The sun shines bright on another opportunity, and he must seize it before dark.
Is there a way to wake him up to the reality that he is married and has a wife and children who want to know him, to spend time with him, to enjoy life together? I believe there is. It's called shock therapy. It doesn't require the services of a psychiatrist, but it does require a bold step.
One lady asked her husband if she could show him her dream home one Sunday afternoon. He reluctantly agreed and she drove him to a luxury rest home. As they got out of the car she explained that if they moved here, they could play golf together, sit under a shade tree and read a book or make love. They could even walk a wooded trail alone. He was totally confused until she said: "I don't know about you, but I don't want to wait until old age to enjoy life."
He got the picture and after a tearful conversation, he agreed to make time for her and the children. Shock therapy just might work for you, too.
Content taken from Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers. $12.49
The Power of Gifts
by Dr. Gary Chapman
Years ago, while completing a Masters degree in Anthropology, I visited by means of detailed ethnographies fascinating peoples all over the world. I went to Central America and studied the advanced cultures of the Mayans and the Aztecs. I crossed the Pacific and studied the tribal peoples of Melanesia and Polynesia. I studied the Eskimos of the northern tundra and the aboriginal Ainus of Japan. I examined the cultural patterns surrounding love and marriage and found that in every culture I studied, gift giving was a part of the love-marriage process.
Anthropologists are enamored by cultural patterns that tend to pervade cultures, and so was I. I concluded that gift giving is a fundamental expression of love that transcends cultural barriers.
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking about me." "He loves me." Have you given your spouse a gift lately?
Gifts are visual symbols of love. Most wedding ceremonies include the giving and receiving of rings. The person performing the ceremony says, "These rings are outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual bond that unites your two hearts in love that has no end." That is not meaningless rhetoric. It is verbalizing a significant truth - symbols have emotional value.
Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others. That's why when you give a gift to some people, they are greatly moved emotionally. They say "Oh, I can't believe you did this for me. You are so thoughtful." You may even see their eyes moisten with a tear. For this person receiving a gift is their "primary love language." It speaks more deeply than words or acts of service.
Without gifts, they may even question your love. If gifts is your spouse's primary love language, nothing is more important emotionally than giving them a gift. And nothing more painful than having the anniversary pass with no gift.
Content is based on the book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Northfield Publishers. $12.49
Praise, Not Criticism Desperate Marriages
by Dr. Gary Chapman
The workaholic is usually well respected in the community and often receives accolades from his employer. On the other hand, his wife seldom views him as Mr. Wonderful. She is likely critical of him because he invests so little in their relationship and is so uninvolved in the lives of the children.
Her criticism is part of the problem. Oh, I understand why she is critical. She is sick and tired of being a single parent. His "wonderful job" is a source of great irritation to her. But when she criticizes him, or his job, she is criticizing the one thing in life that brings him recognition. Her criticism strikes at the heart of his self-esteem, and he fights back. That is why they often have arguments.
Let me suggest a better approach. Stop being critical of his work. Praise him when he receives awards at work. Become his greatest fan. Give the accolades freely. Then request that he do something with you and the children. When he does, and he will, then give him praise. Don't say, "It was about time you gave us some time." Praise him for little and you will get more.
Content taken from Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationships by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishers. $12.49