Here is what happened after my 40 Day Fast
I was being attacked constantly for my belief that we could live a holy life by the power of the Holy Spirit residing in us and that it is mandatory for eternal life to be ours. Since the revelation God gave me helped me overcome pornography, depression, promiscuity, lying, etc. I'm not backing down to believe something else.
I wanted to get out of this home run by a fake church (more like a family business). The leaders hated me but some of the members there thought well of me. So, they preached heavily against me every single Sunday & Wednesday. It was mandatory to attend.
If I worked they took almost all my money, leaving me often with less than $10. Therefore it was not possible to save enough to leave on my own. Even though there were a number of people not paying as much as me they kept threatening to kick me out on the streets if I did not bring in more. The family would openly get together and laugh about my predicament. They wanted to see me leave with no money & end up on the streets. It was raining almost daily down here.They were already 'prophesying' God's wrath poured on me because I was 'coming against His leaders'. Hissssssss
As usual during the fast, I mean this literally, 'all hell broke loose on me'. I recall one Friday evening turning around in a circle near the library feeling lost. Then sitting on a bench and shaking from head to toe with fear. What a feeling - as Irene Cara would say.
God was so quiet, as usual whenever I'm really desperate to hear from Him. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I needed a few miracles not one.
Knowing I was on a fast, they asked me how long it was then with great mirth gave the date of the end of what would of been the last week of my fast to be my last day in the home. They were embarrassed. I know because they were walking around saying I was trying to embarrass them in front of the church because they did not fast but feasted constantly whenever the poor peoples' food stamps & checks came in. The 'Apostle' did not go up to 'minister but her nephew did. He began saying someone was working 'witchcraft' on him & asking for prayers. Everyone knew he meant me.
Anyway, 5 days and 5 weeks was not hard because it was enough after almost a year there being treated like a retarded child by intellectually challenged cruel people. A fool should never rule.
Not until the very last week while worshiping & praying all night in the room with music and recalling one by one the many times God came through for me when I was under heavy attack in the Bahamas and the miracles that saved my life when I was a kid - the peace of God became overwhelming. His manifestation was so strong, man, I always feel baffled that everyone could not feel this and start praising God. There were no words just a feeling that everything would be alright & that I would not spend any night on the street.
After that I was told to not play worship music or sermons or scriptures all night.
A few more days left and one more Wednesday evening of insults and insinuations before I had to find a place to stay. I did not attend service that Wednesday, what could they do, throw me out?? I left Wednesday morning for the library when this elderly man walked up to me to talk to me. He told me that there was a difference between me and the other women that passed. He noticed that I was not like them, pointed to his home & told me to come by to talk to him whenever I wanted to. He told me how long he was living in his home & told me it was 3 bedrooms and asked if I needed somewhere to stay. I told him, actually I had to leave the place where I was by the end of the week. He allowed me to stay there for 3 weeks, cook what I wanted & even gave me money for groceries. His family did not appreciate that he would let a woman stay in his home without being able to take advantage of the situation & demanded he be a man & put me out. He told me I could not stay longer than that but my time of shaking with fear was over.
Once again I spent time worshiping God and recalling times of miraculous answers in the Bahamas (by the way the persecution was for the same reasons - hatred because of my lifestyle which contradicted the morally corrupt churches and their congregation there). I got to the memory of when I had to pay over $300 in one day or I had to leave this motel/hotel in the Bahamas. I had $4 or something like that. I just came back from spending it at the convenience store & had to ask them to unlock my room door so I could take a shower to go out to look for the money.
I turned on the worship music & God told me I did not have to leave the building, He told me who to call & let me know they would pay the bill. This man was a 7th Day Adventist!! They stopped fellowship with me because I would not be indoctrinated by them & accept the Word of one of their revered prophets to be on par with holy scriptures. Namely, Jesus death was for all, including Lucifer, who could repent & God was in tears holding out his hands to Satan in one of her visions. Please.
Ok, the guy did come & write a check covering the whole bill for that hotel room in the Bahamas. I know people talk about great faith that does not doubt, I'm not always that strong in faith that was one of those times I was discussing the possibility or impossibility that He could get someone to do this I only met 3 times. I had some doubt I heard the right thing in my spirit. It would be great if a hand would write things on the wall sometimes. My greatest lesson was to obey the leading of the Holy Spirit no matter how I felt inside. It was like walking on water many times.
**I'm not attacking any religion just stating what happened in the Bahamas.**
Now, here in the US, I was impressed whiles in the room that I did not have to leave to go and look for a place to stay. Like after I mentioned this incident in the motel I felt Him say, "Yeah, and you don't have to go out wandering and searching this time either."
I laughed so hard at this. I was thinking of heading out the door but decided to get on my laptop, cook & eat. And pray some more.
I have to tell you that I and the gentleman had a long discussion on God and the bible the night before. This was the image & memory God brought up in my spirit as He told me I did not have to go searching, He would bring the answer to me. The elderly Jamaican asked me if I had somewhere to go & I told him no but God must provide. He told me I was stupid the usual sentiment I get from people for my life of self denial when compromising could make my life so much easier. He is Jamaican and scorned the thought of being rewarded in heaven after he dies, when he was so healthy and could 'have what he wanted now'. He smoked 'ganja' continuously & even more so after we talked. I heard him say to himself one evening, "this is not living", as he smoked his weed and watched black & white western shows.
Please pray for him to be saved. He treated me a lot better than the supposed 'Christians' in the home.
Two days before I had to leave I was contacted by someone who was looking for a live in care taker for her two boys. That is the kind of work I was looking for. I begged God to help me to not have to do strenuous back breaking labor anymore. The boys are crazy, truly, 2 & 3 yrs old. That's where I am now. She just got the internet hooked up this week.
I was being attacked constantly for my belief that we could live a holy life by the power of the Holy Spirit residing in us and that it is mandatory for eternal life to be ours. Since the revelation God gave me helped me overcome pornography, depression, promiscuity, lying, etc. I'm not backing down to believe something else.
I wanted to get out of this home run by a fake church (more like a family business). The leaders hated me but some of the members there thought well of me. So, they preached heavily against me every single Sunday & Wednesday. It was mandatory to attend.
If I worked they took almost all my money, leaving me often with less than $10. Therefore it was not possible to save enough to leave on my own. Even though there were a number of people not paying as much as me they kept threatening to kick me out on the streets if I did not bring in more. The family would openly get together and laugh about my predicament. They wanted to see me leave with no money & end up on the streets. It was raining almost daily down here.They were already 'prophesying' God's wrath poured on me because I was 'coming against His leaders'. Hissssssss
As usual during the fast, I mean this literally, 'all hell broke loose on me'. I recall one Friday evening turning around in a circle near the library feeling lost. Then sitting on a bench and shaking from head to toe with fear. What a feeling - as Irene Cara would say.
God was so quiet, as usual whenever I'm really desperate to hear from Him. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I needed a few miracles not one.
Knowing I was on a fast, they asked me how long it was then with great mirth gave the date of the end of what would of been the last week of my fast to be my last day in the home. They were embarrassed. I know because they were walking around saying I was trying to embarrass them in front of the church because they did not fast but feasted constantly whenever the poor peoples' food stamps & checks came in. The 'Apostle' did not go up to 'minister but her nephew did. He began saying someone was working 'witchcraft' on him & asking for prayers. Everyone knew he meant me.
Anyway, 5 days and 5 weeks was not hard because it was enough after almost a year there being treated like a retarded child by intellectually challenged cruel people. A fool should never rule.
Not until the very last week while worshiping & praying all night in the room with music and recalling one by one the many times God came through for me when I was under heavy attack in the Bahamas and the miracles that saved my life when I was a kid - the peace of God became overwhelming. His manifestation was so strong, man, I always feel baffled that everyone could not feel this and start praising God. There were no words just a feeling that everything would be alright & that I would not spend any night on the street.
After that I was told to not play worship music or sermons or scriptures all night.
A few more days left and one more Wednesday evening of insults and insinuations before I had to find a place to stay. I did not attend service that Wednesday, what could they do, throw me out?? I left Wednesday morning for the library when this elderly man walked up to me to talk to me. He told me that there was a difference between me and the other women that passed. He noticed that I was not like them, pointed to his home & told me to come by to talk to him whenever I wanted to. He told me how long he was living in his home & told me it was 3 bedrooms and asked if I needed somewhere to stay. I told him, actually I had to leave the place where I was by the end of the week. He allowed me to stay there for 3 weeks, cook what I wanted & even gave me money for groceries. His family did not appreciate that he would let a woman stay in his home without being able to take advantage of the situation & demanded he be a man & put me out. He told me I could not stay longer than that but my time of shaking with fear was over.
Once again I spent time worshiping God and recalling times of miraculous answers in the Bahamas (by the way the persecution was for the same reasons - hatred because of my lifestyle which contradicted the morally corrupt churches and their congregation there). I got to the memory of when I had to pay over $300 in one day or I had to leave this motel/hotel in the Bahamas. I had $4 or something like that. I just came back from spending it at the convenience store & had to ask them to unlock my room door so I could take a shower to go out to look for the money.
I turned on the worship music & God told me I did not have to leave the building, He told me who to call & let me know they would pay the bill. This man was a 7th Day Adventist!! They stopped fellowship with me because I would not be indoctrinated by them & accept the Word of one of their revered prophets to be on par with holy scriptures. Namely, Jesus death was for all, including Lucifer, who could repent & God was in tears holding out his hands to Satan in one of her visions. Please.
Ok, the guy did come & write a check covering the whole bill for that hotel room in the Bahamas. I know people talk about great faith that does not doubt, I'm not always that strong in faith that was one of those times I was discussing the possibility or impossibility that He could get someone to do this I only met 3 times. I had some doubt I heard the right thing in my spirit. It would be great if a hand would write things on the wall sometimes. My greatest lesson was to obey the leading of the Holy Spirit no matter how I felt inside. It was like walking on water many times.
**I'm not attacking any religion just stating what happened in the Bahamas.**
Now, here in the US, I was impressed whiles in the room that I did not have to leave to go and look for a place to stay. Like after I mentioned this incident in the motel I felt Him say, "Yeah, and you don't have to go out wandering and searching this time either."
I laughed so hard at this. I was thinking of heading out the door but decided to get on my laptop, cook & eat. And pray some more.
I have to tell you that I and the gentleman had a long discussion on God and the bible the night before. This was the image & memory God brought up in my spirit as He told me I did not have to go searching, He would bring the answer to me. The elderly Jamaican asked me if I had somewhere to go & I told him no but God must provide. He told me I was stupid the usual sentiment I get from people for my life of self denial when compromising could make my life so much easier. He is Jamaican and scorned the thought of being rewarded in heaven after he dies, when he was so healthy and could 'have what he wanted now'. He smoked 'ganja' continuously & even more so after we talked. I heard him say to himself one evening, "this is not living", as he smoked his weed and watched black & white western shows.
Please pray for him to be saved. He treated me a lot better than the supposed 'Christians' in the home.
Two days before I had to leave I was contacted by someone who was looking for a live in care taker for her two boys. That is the kind of work I was looking for. I begged God to help me to not have to do strenuous back breaking labor anymore. The boys are crazy, truly, 2 & 3 yrs old. That's where I am now. She just got the internet hooked up this week.
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