Molfirelith
Disciple of Prayer
Greetings Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Jesus: I have been under most intense spiritual oppression basically since I have been about 10 yrs old. After years of fighting, being bitten, scratched and torn by demons and snakes etc, I am finding that suddenly I just want them to swallow me whole head first and surrender to them, as I am exhausted. However I am not stupid and know full well that what would happen would be that my soul would be lost for ever, most likely I would perish and become a ghost resigned to live in walls perhaps to the end of the world or until sufficient numbers of holy peoples'prayers release me from such a prison state. These demons have swallowed me one time in the past from my feet upwards, however intensive prayers from my loving, faithfilled wife and myself have freed me from the shivering state of being at death's doors. God has revealed to me that should I submit to being swallowed head first, the prospects of being released are basically zero, and that I would perish and become a ghost lost from God's light for perhaps a very, very, very long time. The compulsions, obsessions, hungers in me keep growing to submit to being swallowed head first by some demon. I am tired, weary, ashamed at being so weak and having these desires and longings. I ask for strong prayers for the following: Radical interior transformation of my desires, mind, thoughts, imaginations, longings to be conformed to those of almighty God in Christ, Jesus; 2) To have every fiber and cell of such thoughts, desires, longings, cravings, compulsions, obsessions, imaginations brought to His throne and made totally subject to Him; 3) For whole hearted, single minded submission to His perfect will in all things, at all times, forever driving absolute committment and absolute conviction to His perfect will, ways, plans, wisdom, guidance, direction in all things, at all times, with all people. Please help, this is a tough thing for me to admit.