Too much wrong

[Anonymous]

Good morning everyone, I'm going to try and be as brief as possible here and I apologise in advance for the lack of grammar, punctuation, spelling etc as I'm voice typing and this needs to be completed ASAP. In a nutshell, I'm 29 years of age unfortunately and ethnic minority book born in Britain and no one sees me as British including other ethnic minorities so I'm constantly having to fight just to exist. Too many violations have occurred against me and my life has already been extremely marginalised. My father's dead I'm estranged from a mother who is blind in one eye and now a widow. In fact, I don't even know if she's alive. I had extremely abusive half siblings who were mixed race. I've never been in any sort of relationship whatsoever, not even dated and yet people treat me like I'm a piece of dirt even though I'm a virgin pure innocent person who deserves respect, at least for that. Amongst many physical abnormalities I have are a chronic skin disease called prurigo nodularis And there are many other abnormalities such as a very long chin. I have this weird bump thing on my top lip that makes me look like my gums are. I don't know how to explain it. It's just so disgusting and ugly and abnormal and it's right in the centre of my top lip where the gum is so when I smile and when I talk it's very very visible and I'm noticing it more and more today than ever before. I have protruding eyes. I have a very small face for my adult age. I've been menstruating since the age of 11 but unfortunately I did not develop any breasts whatsoever. Therefore, I do not look like a woman and I don't have anything to distinguish me other than obviously you know private areas but nothing to distinguish me between a man and a woman because I don't have that feminine privilege. Have accepted Jesus's also yeah even though I was not born into this religion and I have many reasons to not have any faith whatsoever. I'm being very transparent here at the risk of being mocked but my entire life. I've already been mocked so I literally have nothing to lose. Amongst many violations, images of me were used without my consent in a university display taken by a manipulative Nigerian woman who had the audacity to abuse me and then keep the images and share them all without my consent and not doing the key thing of raising awareness of my skin condition, which was the only reason I ever stood for the images. Following my complaints, I was arrested and sectioned instead of being supported and I'm living in constant trauma. It's 8:50 on Saturday the 1st of February 2025 and as laughable and pathetic as this sounds, I refuse to eat nor drink any further that includes medication, food, drink whatsoever because I have absolutely no motivation left. I will force myself outside because I've agreed to buy some things for my flatmates housemates because they need items in the bathroom for hygiene. So I'm more than happy to do that for them since I currently have a little bit of income that I can use for daily essentials. But in terms of self-care and looking after myself, all I can think about is harming and ending my own life but unfortunately I'm not strong enough to do so. My entire life I have been bullied including about my race and my appearance. Do not dare tell me to just accept it or that it's the way of the world or to tell me to put my big girl pants on or any other condescending language of that kind. I know that this world is a harsh place, especially for certain marginalised people like myself. But as a 29-year-old woman who has done nothing but follow the law and be a law and be a good person. I cannot stand for this hostility anymore. There are too many things wrong with me physically psychologically emotionally feminine me and just in all areas and aspects of life and I can't just sit here and accept it because I pray too much and I work too hard to still be sat here in the situ. Oh by the way, even though I just said I'm able to purchase those things for my housemates the reality is I'm actually still in a lot of poverty and the only reason I'm able to pay for things at the moment is through government money. Which if you can imagine if a single person with no partner nor children is peanuts money as they call it. I don't even have a licence, never mind a car and because of my health conditions they won't issue me with even the medical short-term licence. And one of my many health issues is I fall asleep during the day, but I've never fallen asleep during any of my previous driving lessons. I don't understand why they are keeping this all essential licence from me. I can assure you my English language proficiency is generally a lot better than what I am demonstrating here but I'm so tired. I'm so angry. I'm so upset that I don't even have the energy to type. I'm just I'm just voice typing so there's likely to be a lot of errors and I ask you to please not accept and forgive these. I refuse to journal or talk about or ask about or even pray any further for the rest of today about any of my issues. No matter how minor mediocre or major, I really do feel I've prayed so much that often there will be people who have not prayed that much in their entire lives. This is not about pride or arrogance. This is about assertively asking not just God but humanity for help because I am an individual who is genuinely tried her absolute best to navigate life and I've had far too much loss, betrayal, hardship, humiliation, hostility and all manner of suffering that I wouldn't wish even upon the devil himself. Now I mean this sincerely to everyone reading this whether you are baptised or not, whether you're Christian or not, as long as you're a good person, I sincerely hope that this month brings you an abundance of blessings in all kinds. There's some really loud noise in the background from the pipes in the shared house and it's really annoying me so I'm going to be quiet now. But yeah please do read and please do respond and please ultimately do pray for me. Thank you so much. God bless. Amen.

 

[Articles]

We are truly heartbroken to hear about the immense struggles and pain that are being experienced. We want to first acknowledge the courage it took to share these deeply personal experiences and feelings. We are here to pray and offer biblical guidance and encouragement.

Firstly, it is important to address the feelings of despair and the mention of harm.

Suicide is never the solution. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is always hope in Jesus Christ. As it says in the WEB
He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

We must also address the importance of praying in the name of Jesus Christ. It is only through His name that we have access to God the Father. The WEB says in John 14:6
Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.

And in Acts 4:11-12
11 This is the stone which was regarded as worthless by you, the builders, which has become the head of the corner. 12 There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!

Regarding the struggles with self-image and physical appearance, it is important to remember that God looks at the heart, not outward appearances. As it is written in the WEB
But Yahweh said to Samuel, Don t look on his face, or on the height of his stature; because I have rejected him: for I see not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

For you formed my inward parts. You knit me together in my mother s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows that very well. Psalm 139:13-14

Regarding the struggles with racial identity and acceptance, remember that in Christ, there is no division. The WEB says
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Regarding the struggles with poverty and financial difficulties, remember that God cares for even the smallest creatures and will provide for His children. As it says in the WEB

Therefore I tell you, don t be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn t life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don t sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren t you of much more value than they? And which of you, by being anxious, can add one moment to the length of his life? Matthew 6:25-27

Lastly, we want to address the struggles with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Remember that God is always with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. As it says in the WEB

Be strong and courageous. Don t be afraid or scared of them; for Yahweh your God himself is who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

Let us pray together
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this dear soul who is in deep pain and despair. We pray for Your healing touch on their heart, mind, and body. We pray for Your comfort and peace to surround them and for Your strength to sustain them. We pray for Your provision in their life, both physically and spiritually. We pray for Your guidance and wisdom to lead them through this difficult time. We pray for Your love to envelop them and for Your light to shine in their darkness. We pray for Your will to be done in their life, and for Your glory to be revealed through their testimony. We pray for a godly marriage for them that will honor God and give them a loving companion. We ask this all in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear you, dear one, and we're here for you. We want you to know that you're not alone in your struggles. We're sorry to hear about the many challenges you've faced, but we're glad you've found the courage to share them with us. We're here to listen, to pray with you, and to offer support and encouragement.

Firstly, we want to acknowledge your feelings of despair and the thoughts of harm you've been having. It's important to remember that there is always hope, and that there are people who care about you and want to help. If you ever feel like you're in immediate danger, please reach out to a local emergency service or a suicide prevention hotline. Here are a few resources that might help:

* International Association for Suicide Prevention: <Find A Helpline | Free emotional support in 130+ countries>
* National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
* Crisis Text Line (USA): Text HOME to 741741
* Samaritans (UK): 116 123

We also want to remind you that God is always with you, even in your darkest moments. As it says in the Bible, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) He sees your pain, He hears your cries, and He loves you more than you could ever imagine.

We want to encourage you to keep fighting, to keep pushing forward, one day at a time. We know it's hard, and we know you're tired, but there is a purpose in your pain, and there is a future filled with hope and healing.

We're here to pray with you, dear one. Let's lift your burdens to the Lord together. Please say the word, and we'll start praying right now.

 

[Azeasil]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Quenulon]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Galuiriorside]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.