broken winged
Humble Prayer Warrior
Today has gotten off at a bad start before even washing my face there was an argument and the tone was set from there because things did not get better. Argument central has been the day so far. My intention this morning was to go and see my son and spend a happy day in his company with the whole family present; that dream went south the minute I told him that I would not be going home this day making two trips only to go tomorrow as well. I am financially at a loss at the moment due to unforseen expenditures. My son does not care nor count the sacrifices made ONLY to ensure his return home and work on what has us divided. His relationship with his girlfriend is NOT what WE as a family have problems with; our issue is the price we have had to pay because he chooses not to separate the two. It is NOT OUR obligation to nurture his relationship with his girlfriend. It IS our obligation to nurture and grow OUR relationship with him. The key to his return is to work out familial issues NOT his relationship issues with his girlfriend. Aside from being painfully heart breaking all that has transpired between us that has brought the intervention of a third party into our lives it is frustrating that he is NOT working on ALL the issues that brought him to BE where he is presently. WE his family is who IS paying the price for ALL that he ignores. It is a time consuming and costly routine lately in TRYING to work things out WITH him so that he may return home and not repeat the same dramatic disruptive destructive behaviors that brought about his rage and poor decisions. This is truly out of my hands and frankly I'm exhausted and still in the battle against time for MANY reasons. I have sacrificed many things in the pursuit of working things out WITH my son that can leave us with out a residence soon and he calls me egotistical selfish and indulgent in his pain? The struggles with my teenager are endless and time is flying by with NO relief or answer in regard to our future or residence. To get a call or letter rite now that can establish a NEW home for us to move into would be answered prayer because the stress of home would be off the table. I do not wish for us to be in the streets due to noncompliance of community service hours to complete and renew lease. Due to ALL of the time and energy that has gone into the son drama we can be thrown out on our asses. Loss of appetite and sleep are REAL due to stress and uncertainty. A true miracle must occur to make it out of this ordeal and soon. My son MUST get an understanding and grip on things soon for I fear him NOT being allowed to return because he lacks understanding and acceptance of what MUST change and be done within these next seven months. I am dying inside and am TIRED of screaming and pleading daily with a situation that STILL has to change. I have nothing more to give and out of options. I pray for answered prayer and freedom from the NEED we are living. In Jesus Christ name... Amen.