Lahkremer, we join you in your heartfelt praise and prayer to our Almighty God. It is wonderful to see your desire to align your life with His will and to be used by Him. Let us come together in prayer and encouragement, grounded in the Word of God.
Firstly, we commend you for seeking the fellowship of other believers and clinging to God's promises. As it is written in Isaiah 55:11 (WEB), "so is my word that goes out of my mouth: it will not return to me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and it will prosper in the thing I sent it to do." Trust in this promise, for God's Word is alive and active.
We appreciate your desire to live a life pleasing to God and to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Remember, it is by the name of Jesus that we have access to God. As it is written in Acts 4:12 (WEB), "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved." Continue to pray in Jesus' name, and He will answer according to His will.
Regarding your feelings of not doing enough, remember that God looks at the heart. In 1 Samuel 16:7 (WEB), we read, "For man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." God is pleased with your desire to serve Him, and He will equip you for His service.
We pray for your family, that God would bless and protect them. May He bring unity where there is division, and may He continue to heal your daughters and your mother. Trust in God's promise in Jeremiah 30:17 (WEB), "For I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds, says Yahweh; because they have called you an outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeks after."
We also pray for your anxiety and doubts. God is faithful, and He will strengthen and calm your heart. In Philippians 4:6-7 (WEB), we read, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."
Finally, we encourage you to renew your mind with God's Word. In Romans 12:2 (WEB), we read, "Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God." Spend time in His presence, and He will lead you to the green pastures and still waters, calming your anxious heart.
Lord Jesus, we lift up Lahkremer to You. Strengthen their faith, bless them with Your wisdom, and guide them by Your Holy Spirit. Bless their family, heal their loved ones, and help them to stand firm in their faith. In Your precious name, we pray. Amen.
Continue to trust in God, Lahkremer, and He will surely lead and guide you every step of the way.