Saballiffe
Prayer Partner
I'm tired of being tired. I know it sounds ungrateful because even with my little , I have more than some others, but the pitfalls keep coming, no matter my intentions.
My toothache was quite severe, not something a regular dentist could handle, so there were multiple steps and visits. I'm grateful that I have been able to pay for it so far, but beyond rent, everything else is in a bind.
I have a job where they say to take leave, and health is the utmost priority, yet my manager questions everything as if I'm lying and choosing to be in pain despite the fact I showed doctors notes that shouldn't need to be required. I'm being questioned if I need a full day for a "mere doctor appointment." Each time I do something and follow the rules given, it seems like the goalpost is moved; I've been dealing with tooth pain for two weeks and still came to work. I felt terrible today but pushed through, yet I was questioned when I informed them I wouldn't be in tomorrow because something was wrong and I needed to be checked out.
It makes me anxious about taking the time off to get the crown and other things so that the tooth is fully functional again. This is defeating the purpose of having a job and health insurance, I dread going to work and seeing what new thing I am being nitpicked on. Since no one else wants to be in the hot seat, my team is beginning to treat me differently.
I am trying to do my very best with this debt as the court date looms closer. I tried to follow due process to show that the debt should've been canceled and prove with the application that I followed the steps. Now I'm getting the runaround of being told that I don't have enough supporting documents yet; I no longer have all the statements they should have since the debt was sold to them. I'm praying for deliverance from this debt and, if it is still very present, that they accept what little I have left after all these medical procedures.
I just feel so drained after pushing myself to get through my day and being cordial that i feel other things are slacking. I only wash enough clothes to get through the next few days. I only cook meals that can be made in under 20 minutes and use the least amount of pots. I stay inside the house afraid to spend money or not up for dealing with a bunch of people.only to repeat it all over again. I dont even recognize my place let alone myself anymore….
I just want to be stable and secure, not be anxious, have a good night's rest without pain , and be happy I'm waking up, going to work, and feeling like I can make a difference. I know I can come to God with all my problems, but I just feel like it's always SOMETHING, and sometimes saying it aloud makes it that much more real.
I just want the same peace and grace I extend to others from work, my family and my housing. I know I am not perfect, and I am not trying to be; I also know there are many things I need to work on. I just need the space , energy and opportunity to do so.
I pray I soon have the energy to organize my place how i want and do a deep clean , help change my outlook by changing my focus and what I see , but without being forced from outside sources who make me uncomfortable.
I just pray I get through this medical setback and that I will be able to have functioning molars, my debt will be handled without me ending up homeless, and that my manager will be a decent human being and treat me as such as well. And I will still be able to handle all of my bills. I pray that eventually i will be able to afford a break where i truly enjoy it instead of being anxious about what’s coming next. That i will be able to reset and refocus and just refill my cup.
My toothache was quite severe, not something a regular dentist could handle, so there were multiple steps and visits. I'm grateful that I have been able to pay for it so far, but beyond rent, everything else is in a bind.
I have a job where they say to take leave, and health is the utmost priority, yet my manager questions everything as if I'm lying and choosing to be in pain despite the fact I showed doctors notes that shouldn't need to be required. I'm being questioned if I need a full day for a "mere doctor appointment." Each time I do something and follow the rules given, it seems like the goalpost is moved; I've been dealing with tooth pain for two weeks and still came to work. I felt terrible today but pushed through, yet I was questioned when I informed them I wouldn't be in tomorrow because something was wrong and I needed to be checked out.
It makes me anxious about taking the time off to get the crown and other things so that the tooth is fully functional again. This is defeating the purpose of having a job and health insurance, I dread going to work and seeing what new thing I am being nitpicked on. Since no one else wants to be in the hot seat, my team is beginning to treat me differently.
I am trying to do my very best with this debt as the court date looms closer. I tried to follow due process to show that the debt should've been canceled and prove with the application that I followed the steps. Now I'm getting the runaround of being told that I don't have enough supporting documents yet; I no longer have all the statements they should have since the debt was sold to them. I'm praying for deliverance from this debt and, if it is still very present, that they accept what little I have left after all these medical procedures.
I just feel so drained after pushing myself to get through my day and being cordial that i feel other things are slacking. I only wash enough clothes to get through the next few days. I only cook meals that can be made in under 20 minutes and use the least amount of pots. I stay inside the house afraid to spend money or not up for dealing with a bunch of people.only to repeat it all over again. I dont even recognize my place let alone myself anymore….
I just want to be stable and secure, not be anxious, have a good night's rest without pain , and be happy I'm waking up, going to work, and feeling like I can make a difference. I know I can come to God with all my problems, but I just feel like it's always SOMETHING, and sometimes saying it aloud makes it that much more real.
I just want the same peace and grace I extend to others from work, my family and my housing. I know I am not perfect, and I am not trying to be; I also know there are many things I need to work on. I just need the space , energy and opportunity to do so.
I pray I soon have the energy to organize my place how i want and do a deep clean , help change my outlook by changing my focus and what I see , but without being forced from outside sources who make me uncomfortable.
I just pray I get through this medical setback and that I will be able to have functioning molars, my debt will be handled without me ending up homeless, and that my manager will be a decent human being and treat me as such as well. And I will still be able to handle all of my bills. I pray that eventually i will be able to afford a break where i truly enjoy it instead of being anxious about what’s coming next. That i will be able to reset and refocus and just refill my cup.